This morning I logged onto Hive to see what people were up to, reply to a few comments and power up for the day. To see some new posts from new people whose stuff I haven't seen before I opted to look at the trending feed.
And I got a huge shock.
For the third time since joining Hive, I found myself feeling immense and overwhelming compassion for the people of an entire country.
If you haven't seen the news then let me share that Turkey has recently experienced 210 earthquakes in the last 24 hours or so.
The photos are devastating. I got the same feeling in my body when I saw posts and photos about Ukraine being attacked almost a year ago and when the Super Typhoon hit the Philippines back in Dec 2021... the feeling that I simultaneously had to look at the photos and read the stories of what had happened and that I couldn't bear to look at any of it.
This is what happens when we see traumatic things happen to others; one part of us is pulled to see and understand what has happened while another part wants to pull away, run away, get away from all the pain and suffering.
If you've ever noticed this in yourself please know it's normal. Uncomfortable as hell, yes, but also normal.
Human beings can experience trauma by being in an earthquake or in a war zone or in the middle of a typhoon but we can also experience trauma vicariously that is, by seeing an awful thing that is happening or has happened to other human beings.
Not that I want to suggest for even one minute that sitting here safely on my couch with a stable roof over my head is anywhere near as traumatic as living through these situations I've mentioned above. Not even close.
But it is still painful for any human who is at all in their body and feeling their feelings to witness another human's suffering.
We are wired to care about each other. Even other humans we've never met in countries we've never been to.
So, what do you do if you find yourself scrolling through Hive or you see something on TV or you hear news from a friend that something horrific has happened and you suddenly feel awful about what's happened and powerless to help?
I'm so glad you asked. Here are my suggestions:
1. Consume the smallest amount of news or information on the situation as is necessary.
How much news is useful is going to depend on your circumstances. If the horrific thing (whatever it is) has happened in a place where you have friends or family or in a neighbouring city or country then you're going to want and perhaps need more information about the situation than someone who lives far away and doesn't know anyone who lives there.
And this one requires a little bit of discipline and perhaps a good dose of distraction as some part of your mind may well say, "But I need to keep up to date with what's happening". But is that true, really? Can you do anything with the awful news you're consuming? If the answer is "no" then stop consuming the endless updates. You'll just make yourself feel worse and you'll burn up precious energy that you could be using to do something helpful.
This brings me to my next point.
2. Look at what is in your control and focus your attention and energy on that.
When I saw this recent post about the earthquakes in Turkey I immediately went into "what can I do" mode. While I haven't got oodles of money to donate to this or other very worthy causes I can upvote, reblog and give out tokens.
That might not seem like much when so many people have just lost their homes but it's what's in my control to do and therefore it is the very best thing for me to focus on.
Another thing I can do is make sure I look for at least one post per day from someone in Turkey and repeat what I did this morning: upvote, reblog and give them tokens. And while this might seem a contradiction to what I said in the last point about consuming as little info as possible on the horrific thing that makes you feel bad, there is a balance to be struck between overwhelming the system and ignoring it altogether.
Our fellow Hivers need help. So my plan is to help them in small, sustainable ways regularly over a period of time. If I can skim through a post, get a sense of what's happening, upvote and reblog well-written, informative posts that give others options for donating to support Turkey then I get to do my bit to help without feeling totally f*cking horrific myself.
So work out what you can do that makes sense for your life and your financial situation. Make it sustainable and reasonable so you can continue to look after your own mental, emotional and physical well-being because unfortunately there will be more causes in future that you're going to want to support. They will need your energy too. So do what you can and then focus again on what you need to do in your own life.
3. Find a way to let the pain go.
Some of you will have read about my love of "tapping" (the most well-known version of this tool is EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques) and it's the way I let go of a lot of stuff in my own life. It's also what I teach most of my clients. There are a lot of videos online where you can learn how to do this for free or just tap along to someone else's video to help yourself feel better. (While I don't offer tap-along videos to the public, this woman does and she's someone I'm happy to recommend as her work is wonderful).
But tapping is just one way to let stuff go. You could dance in whatever way your body wants to move and process how you're feeling. You could go for a walk or a run with the intention to let go of the pain you're feeling. You could pray and give it up to God/Source to take care of it for you.
There are so many ways that you can choose to let the emotional pain go from watching the horrifying things that are happening or have happened in the world. The thing to do is find a way that you like to do, that fits into your lifestyle and that's safe and effective. Be prepared to do it regularly, just like you drink water and pee and move your body regularly. Looking after your mental and emotional well-being needs to be layered into your life the same way you look after your physical body.
If you happen to be in Turkey and reading this, or in Ukraine and still feeling the threat of attack, or anywhere else in the world experiencing anything else that feels really f*cking awful then please know these same three things will help you too. You may just have to apply them differently.
When we are facing direct and current threats to our safety our minds will prioritise keeping us physically safe over and above everything else. But if, right now as you read this, you are for even one minute actually safe where you are but you still feel overwhelmed, traumatised and/or numb then you can choose any one of the three suggestions above and apply them to your situation in whatever way makes sense to you.
And please accept this very big, gentle hug from me, your Hive sister, over here in Australia. I wish you safety, both in your environment and as a feeling inside your heart. 馃挀
And actually, you know what else will help? Finding someone you care about, or even any kind-hearted stranger and giving them a really big hug. xxx
