When we were born into this world, we were born in our natural state of being. We could be compared to as a blank slate or a computer with no programming. We were content with life. Then we started to learn things about the world around us, about ourselves and others. As kids, we never thought that we weren't good enough or that others were better than us in any way shape or form. We never thought that we couldn't achieve something or that we couldn't be something that we wanted to be. These types of beliefs are learned and are just a few examples of beliefs that can be programmed into your unconscious mind running on autopilot, influencing decisions and triggering thoughts of sadness or unworthiness. A belief is a thought that you accept as bring true. The majority of most people’s beliefs slip in unquestioned and become part of their unconscious programming.
Let’s look at an example of how a belief can lead to depression.
A young girl in her early teens who has grown up watching television programs that promote luxurious lifestyles and models with perfect bodies, could easily begin to compare herself, her life and her figure to what she sees on TV. This could create thoughts of a sad or insecure nature, such as, I’m not good enough, I’m not pretty, I hate my body etc. If this happens, feelings of sadness are inevitable and the process begins.
It starts off as a few feelings of sadness and from there a cycle fueled with false beliefs begins and continues to grow and expand with every situation that triggers thoughts and feelings of a similar nature.
So back to our teen girl, she has now unknowingly created the foundation for depression. Her brain has created neural links between other people’s success/beauty and her apparent lack of. Our brains work in a very habitual way. They generalise events and use pre-existing neural pathways to perceive what is happening. This means that similar events are going to trigger and reinforce pre-existing feelings and the beliefs behind them.
So, the girl is at school where she has a crush on a guy. She sees him flirting with another girl, the most popular girl in her class. The same thoughts and feelings are triggered, strengthening the neural pathways and branching them out to similar but different external events. She has just reinforced her feelings of not being good enough and her confidence and self esteem have taken a blow. She now has multiple triggers for the same feeling.
Now she is at risk of ‘delusional future projection’. This is when we assume, based on our available ‘facts’ (our delusional beliefs) and limited and selective experiences, that something of a similar nature will happen in similar future situations. For example, the next time she has a crush on someone, something like this could happen; she sees him, this triggers a thought that she is not pretty enough for him and she feels sad again. At this stage, it is all happening inside her head. She doesn't even need an external event to perceive as being bad anymore. As time goes by, cycles like this continue and the more they happen, the more habitual they become and the more habitual they become, they less consciously aware we are of them. Our brains work at lightning speed so when it has become habitual, it all happens in a split second without us knowing what is actually going on and what is really causing our feelings.
It has now become a part of her life. The neural pathways are big and strong, the feeling has become habitual and the events that trigger it have branched out far and wide.
Over time these would all trigger the same feeling attached to thoughts such as; I’m not good/pretty enough, I hate my body, I hate myself, I am a failure etc, making depression a daily occurrence.
Another mental process that can cause the onset of depression is, over-identifying or getting too actively involved with thoughts and feelings of a sad nature. This can happen after an emotional life event such as a break up or a bereavement. These are sad situations and it’s natural for us to experience sadness and discomfort for a period of time. The problem comes when you resist the feelings of sadness which prevents their natural expression from taking place or when you over-identify with the thoughts and feelings. Over-identifying or getting too involved in feelings causes them to grow in intensity. What we focus on grows/expands due to the neural pathways in our brain associated with the feeling being used over and over thus strengthening them and making them more habitual. Here are a few ways that you could be sustaining depression with your focus/attention;
Thinking, thinking too much about the external event that caused the feeling. To think about it you must be focusing on it.
Trying to figure it out, you might be able to logically figure out a solution to a problem that is causing you suffering and obtain temporary relief, but this is also focusing on the problem. If temporary relief is obtained, the feeling is sure to return due to it not being expressed and released.
Getting angry about being depressed, this only adds to the suffering and can create mental habits. For example, a feeling gets triggered, a feeling that you know well and have experienced many times before. This could cause anger as you don’t like the feeling, then you get frustrated about the whole situation which leads back to sadness again. This can all happen in a few seconds outside your conscious awareness.
Suppressing/Resisting the feelings, by suppressing our feelings, we are not allowing their natural expression to take place so they keep building up. It takes a lot of energy to hold them down, that is why fatigue is heavily associated with depression.
I must emphasise that the examples which I have used here are just that, examples. Many different situations can cause the depression cycle to begin. My aim in this article is to give you the best possible understanding of depression so that you can begin to start loosening its grip on your life.
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