I was reading a NY Times article about the recent uptick in homicides and one of the people they interviewed was saying a sense of "There is no tomorrow" was partially responsible. I was struck by how those four words seemed to sum up the zeitgeist of 2020.
Groundhog's Day on infinite loop. Somebody hiding in a room continually asking "What else can go wrong?" A smorgasbord of slow motion trainwrecks. I don't know how things look in your neck of the woods but the view from where I'm sitting it doesn't give rise to much in the way of hope and optimism. The new normal is a formless grey survival, an indeterminate, anxious waiting filled with pretenses of normality and alternating between boredom, stress, and chaos.
There is no tomorrow. While we all could die at any second, with the pandemic it seems like we are much more cognizant of that fact than in times past (hundreds of angry people with guns showing up at the protests just drove that point home even more). Tomorrow is never guaranteed but it damn sure feels a bit more uncertain these days.
I don't know about y'all but as the likelihood of dying increases, my priorities tend to change (also my sense of risk, who gives a damn about a speeding ticket if you could die next week). While traffic was down considerably during the lockdown, traffic deaths were not, judging by that and the increase in homicides we've seen since covid, I'm guessing I'm not the only one who has less damns to give...
We've all made jokes about the "Plot Twists Gone Wild" movie that is the year 2020 but aside from the timing of the pandemic little has happened that wasn't already building, simmering just below the surface. Historically, pandemics have been times of turmoil and disruption, bringing empires to their knees and turning the established order on its head, I suspect this one will be little different. I intend to get into this (and the potential for positive change to come as a result) more in my next post. As something of a cynic and nihilist my default response to "Everything is fucked, we're all gonna die" is "Yeah, and?" but I'm curious how y'all have perceived and coped with the events of this year, so don't be a stranger.
