Claiming your power: standing up and standing up
We must assert our own power, not lower our heads, not give in once again in the face of what we do not like or indignant. We are endowed with a voice just to speak, a look that refuses to look at life with fear and a presence that demands more space. So let us do it, let us stand up because the real height is not measured in centimetres, but in courage, respect and personal determination.
Montesquieu said that "in order to prevent the abuse of power, it is necessary that, for the disposition of things, power arrests power". In some way, it's as if we were always subjected to a game of forces where we control each other, where we can measure ourselves, subjugate ourselves, challenge each other and get back into the sixth in a given moment. Far from living in harmony, we are a society that has always loved the hierarchies and the consequent discrimination that they imply.
"I would like women to have power over men, not on themselves."
-Mary Wollstonecraft-
So much so that, if we analyze for a moment the word "power" from a psychological point of view, we will find numerous researches that always propose the same terms: authority, alignment, coercion, fear, interdependence, etc., and, first of all, submission of "B" compared to "A".
So it's only recently that this concept is experiencing some interesting and stimulating changes in terms of its definition. In today's day, psychology puts at our disposal that area called "personal power", where, instead of there being games of forces, differences or coercion of one group with respect to the other, something different arises.
We refer to the opportunity to group together internal energies, to "strengthen" ourselves in order to achieve our goals and, consequently, to create a more egalitarian society. For this reason, we must first of all cultivate and work on our personal power, on self-confidence, on our potential and awaken in turn this own love that no longer sees the barriers to its horizon and, finally, set aside fear to trust in our opportunities.
Claiming your power: learning to say "no"
It is time to understand the word "power" in another way. We are able to see it as a reawakening, as an awareness of what we deserve, of what we can do for ourselves and, no less, for our own society. A very interesting book by anthropologist William Ury, entitled Il no positive - The art of conducting any negotiation without renouncing one's own objectives, speaks of this topic and invites us to reflect deeply.
In most contexts where there is a clear difference in power, where one exercises one's influence and others are subject to social, economic or gender differences, there is a fact that almost always repeats itself. Those at the top of this pyramid of influence are used to getting what they want. Life, the people around him, in a certain sense, have always told him "yes" to any project, to any whim, high objective or childish bites.
According to Dr William Ury, these people exert their influence through the empire of fear. So, if you want to claim your power, you just have to dare to say "no" when you need it or feel right. It is a question of placing limits on those who are used to seeing their own personal horizons clear of any obstacles.
At this point, however, we must consider another aspect. It is not enough to have the courage to say ânoâ. No change takes place with a solitary voice and a single brave voice that dares to step in isolation. The great movements are born from the union of many "no" movements that rise in a single voice.
This is what is happening with the #metoo movement. There were many women who had the courage to take this step, but no one wanted to listen or believe them. At this moment society is more receptive and they have joined forces to abandon fear and bring out a reality where abuse of power has reached unacceptable limits.
Your power is within you, awaken it
Whether you are men or women, whatever age you have and whatever the situation you are in now, always remember: you have power within yourself and you would do well to employ it. This inner impulse must enable you to find your place in the world, what you want and not what others desire. This force must be luminous and creative, it must be a flame capable of guiding you in the darkest moments and, in turn, powerful enough to give comfort and guide others too.
To do this, you can work on the following aspects:
As a last thing, it is essential that in your daily life you invest the time and energy to work on your personal growth, your self-esteem, your self-affirmation, your self-confidence... Your power is fuelled by your inner security and the awareness that you deserve something better. Only then will you refuse to lower your head again, only then will you become part of this movement based on respect, equality and the ideal of achieving a more dignified society for all.
