After a couple months of what felt like hell, I decided it was time to say farewell to my teaching endeavors or rather terminate my employment at the school I tutor. This was largely due to the fact that I was overworked ,underpaid , stressed and underappreciated. The school was quite far from where I live meaning I either have to pay for transportation daily or use my natural vehicle - leggedez Benz (Trekking) as the other alternative which in the end became my frequently used mode of locomotion. It was really an unpleasant occurrence. Sometimes I would get to school exhausted even before I commence teaching and to make matters worse I have to teach five classes with 7 subjects as my responsibilities. It was no walk in the park but I already made up my mind to work since it was way better than sitting at home.
After about two months, the job became completely unbearable and I decided I was quitting at the end of the term as it was only going to get worse because two staff already told me they were planning on quitting which meant more work for me until they were replaced. With no concrete plan in mind, I applied for countless jobs during the Christmas holiday, all proved abortive or worse than my already existing condition and so my mind reverted back to my previous teaching job and I decided to continue with the school until something better pops up ( as we Nigerians say " at all at all naim bad pass") .
At the beginning of the new term I fell ill on the very first day of resumption and took it as a sign to pull through with the initial plan of resigning from the school which I did. While I was still recuperating, I got a call from the school management telling me to return the school materials still in my possession since I was terminating my services with the school. I was directed to hand over those materials to the head teacher Mrs Ngozi who was the younger sister to the proprietor and lived close to my place.
When I got to her place, I knocked on the gate and her nephew Chibuzor who was also a student in my class answered with a smile on his face. He asked me:
"Mr Emmanuel we have not seen you since resumption, did you quit?"
I replied " yes I did" ..
His next response shock me to the core
With a sad expression on his face he spoke his last words to me before taking the materials back inside.
" I am going to miss you sir".
All my resolve crumbled under those words and deep down I knew I was going to miss the kids too especially this very lad who happens to be my favorite student . Chibuzor was not the brightest student or the most charismatic but there was just something about him that reminded me a lot about a young version of myself. I simply waved him goodbye, turned around and headed back home with my mind pondering on the thoughts of 'WHAT IF'?.
No matter how much we prepare ourselves for goodbyes, in the end it remains an uncomfortable feeling that is bound to happen, tearing us up inside and reminding us of memories we intend to cherish and wish would last a lifetime . As unsettling as goodbyes are, the truth about them is they are not endings but pathways to growth, new beginnings and a push to something better that not be perceived with fear but embraced with open arms. I may not be good at goodbyes like Sam smith but I have accepted that as painful as every goodbye maybe, they open doors to new possibilities I must explore.
