I always tell people the worst thing that can happen to any human is pretending to be okay while you are not. You may see it as nothing; it may look harmless. Always smile to people, always say 'I am fine' while you are not. When people ask what the problem is, you always reply, 'You are okay.' But behind those sweet words there live a sad soul and a depressed soul. The majority of us walk around every day with invisible battles, pretending to be okay and acting strong for people around us.
One thing I notice is the world you are existing in rewards performance over honesty. People work tirelessly and very hard to make room for vulnerability; that is the main reason people hide their pains instead of expressing them. That is why we always mask our emotions, smiling, and go to an event and to work pretending to be okay while we are silently dying inside.
Most times I pretend to be okay. I always tell myself I don't want to disturb other people with my personal problem. I will not lie; it feels like survival. The main reason I pretend most times is because I don't want to be judged or I don't want my issue to be a topic for discussion among my friends. That is why I bury it. Many times a problem shared is not a problem solved. Of a truth, as a human, emotions will not disappear. When you look at me, you will know that there is something eating me up.
Everything has a cost to pay; pretending can drain you emotionally and mentally. You may be a shadow of yourself because you channel all your energy into acting okay instead of fighting your fear; you may see yourself burning out and angry. I am a witness pretending to be okay; often push real people that will help you away. The fact you choose not to talk to people around will make them assume that you are okay and strong, and they may never realise you need support. I understand that many times we don’t want to disturb people with our problem; we need to be open for us to get the support we are looking for.
Pretending will only do us more harm than good; it will even affect the way we relate with people. For us to connect with people genuinely, we must be honest and open; we don’t need to hide our challenges. That's why we need to be open so that it will not affect the relationship. If there is something I hate so much in life, it is pretending.
I always tell my close friends that for the fact we are humans, everything is not okay; life has its own way of throwing us off balance, the pressure, the disappointment and so on. That is normal, but pretending all the time is bad. Most times it is not easy, but we can fight it the moment we start pretending.
Believe me, it is not always easy; we must not tell everyone our issue, but there are a few people whom we can trust and share our problem with, and we will get support. Pretending can never save or protect us; rather, it will take away our happiness and connections. There is this popular saying: true strength is not found behind the mask. We are humans, and we are not perfect. For you to stop pretending, we must be honest to ourselves.
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