How often do we really reflect on ourselves? And no, I don't mean to contemplate our existence, just at the moment when something is affecting us (positively or negatively); no, but really to be able to link up with our learning as individuals. It's funny, you know? I mean, to see how being younger, we are more susceptible to learning and unlearning, but when we reach a point of maturity and years completed in this earthly plane; in this life, simultaneously we seem to lose the ability to be able to be better? In short, to evolve.
This is what this post is about, my ability to evaluate many things that have happened to me and that have made my life an amalgam of sensations, experiences and moments of all kinds. In short, I am a woman who refuses, under total opposition, to the automation of life itself. That is to say, to live every day under the prism of "automatic mode". That is, to wake up, brush my teeth, make breakfast, take the kids to school and then work and feel miserable, insufficient at the end of each day. No, that's not the life I want to live. But neither is it easy to go against a system that is designed, precisely, to keep you there....
We are what we are. It is an extremely blunt phrase, as well as a simple one. However, we don't seem to pay much attention to it. In my opinion, we have only one responsibility within our existence; and it is none other than to be worthy. Not for others, not to fit in, but for ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we have to be overly individualistic or vain; but I do mean to be truly authentic to ourselves.... I understand that the world we live in is not very tolerant of idealism, and that it is difficult to disengage from the majority, but our sense of happiness and fulfillment, for me, is everything.
Now, I didn't properly know what "evolving" was until a few years later. I am now 31 years old, mother of a little girl of 8; divorced (the best decision of my life) and it was through my own life experiences that I have learned the value of authenticity, courage as an inalienable motto, and the power of unlearning to learn to be infinitely better. And this is not empty chatter, nor an attempt to make the mindset of your life improve in a certain way. I'm just advocating to stop being a functional automaton. Someone who lives life without desires or wishes of his own, just doing "what he has to do". And don't tell me you haven't felt like that.
In this sense, the suffering that every being, in multiple points of a life experiences, can lead you to several places... To the deepest and most analytical reflection. Where not only the version that favors us is used, where we are the victim who has suffered unjustly, but where we also contemplate the whole picture. That is, where we have also done damage but we do not want to admit it... Few situations, really, have only one party as the "guilty party" (such as violent or sexual crimes). However, getting from point "a" to point "b" took me decades, folks. It's not an easy journey, and yes, there's a lot to learn but also to leave in the past....
Radiohead, has a song that makes sense of the title of this post "Everything in its right place". It's not particularly amazing lyrically but musically it's insane. In order to get into the right mood, I played it along with a combination of Mother Love Bone (Crown of Thorns) and it created the right mood to not only be able to express my feelings and thoughts, but to shed the protective measures that every ego has. I don't pretend to read myself as someone who is superior to you in any way. Moreover, I personally have a soft spot for people who are so-called imperfect. I respect them more, and I am attached to them.
Having everything in the right place, properly, is undoubtedly a tremendous challenge. But that doesn't mean we should neglect the balance we all should achieve. At the end of every workday, at the end of that traffic jam every afternoon, we should really think about what we are doing. On average, our lives are around 70, 80 years at best. We should really be aware of our limitations. Love ourselves with respect and do more of the things that really make us happy. Both in solitude and in company. Transmit to our children the definition of decency, dignity with ourselves and personal self-worth.
Tomorrow belongs to no one, and that is an undeniable reality. For this reason, it is here that I publish my reflection. In this community, and with these words, which are intended for absolutely nothing. Only to serve, if at all, for those who come to consider giving a more authentic direction to their lives and existences. I appreciate the time you have taken to read me and to get this far. For that reason, I'll leave you with a couple of songs so you can try to empathize with me regarding the right mood that made this post possible. I hope you like them, dear reader. Have the best day possible, and never hesitate to look for what gives you pleasure and joy.
