Who Do I Work For?

One cool thing about being a human is having free will.

The free will to choose on your own accord what you want to do in a given situation.

You have the free will to pick your occupation.

Who your friends are.

Sometimes who your family is.

One of the biggest things we use our free will for is choosing who we work for.

We as humans spend so much time "working" so your boss becomes a pretty important figure in your life.

He or she tells you when to work and what task to do.

They pay you a living and you use that to fund your life.

So it seems who you work for plays a hue role in you life.

So wouldn't you pick a boss, you would give everything for.

Sacrifice everything for.

Run through a brick wall to get the job done.

Keeping your moral code but doing what is needed to get the job done.

Taking whatever abuse that is necessary to accomplish your tasks.

The key for success in any job is to keep going.

As long as you believe in it 100%.

And it has to be 100%, not 99 or 99.9%

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You need to be all-in for who you work for.

Some humans are lucky and work for themselves, family members, or friends.

Their "boss" is someone they know intimately. They are familiar with their morals, their life goals, and life purposes.

And sometimes, the boss a human works for is another random human being or even something greater.

A purpose.

A higher calling than yourself personally.

More important than us humans can comprehend.

Being confirmed and baptized as a Christian, I have always been aware of God and the Christianity.

Was involved until after I got confirmed in high school and then when I went into college my relationship with the "big man upstairs" as I call "it" changed dramatically.

It wasn't a formal, every Sunday get dressed up and go to Church and pay attention enough to stay awake and not be chastised.

It was an every moment please help me and let's get it relationship.

I survived so much shit in my life I probably should have never survived. And I owe it all the God and the Universe.

My relationships with the higher being became an almost daily conversation and relationship.

Every day brought new challenges and new opportunities.

The only problem during that time in my life was I was an addict.

I was sheltered as a kid and never really was exposed to much.

And then I went to college and BAM holy shit this world is wild.

I started drinking and smoking almost every day, sleeping with as many women as possible, and all while taking Adderall.

And if you don't know much about Adderall, that was probably the worst out of my addictions.

Basically one component away from Meth.

But it is used by a vast majority of humans in American universities and college.

It helps you focus.

Helps you study and complete assignments and projects with such efficiency and effectiveness it's nuts.

And I did that for a while.

Dominating life only sleeping a few hours a week.

I thought that was what you were supposed to do.

I was working on my dreams, my business, and plans. Meeting all types of new people and having epic experiences all along the way.

It seemed like I figured this game we call life out.

And then the crash came, holy smokes.

After four (4) years of drinking, smoking, fucking, and popping as much Adderall as I could, I crashed.

Like God and the Universe put me in "game over" mode. With one chance to restart the game.

And holy shit when I realized how much I was off about life it blew my mind.

I had lost my family and friends. No colleagues anymore. Who and where do I turn too?

Well lucky for me, my friend Dave went to Alcoholics Anonymous (which oddly was started in Akron, Ohio out of all places in the world) meetings. So I tagged along and holy shit did it change my life.

Not only did I get a meal every time I went (I was homeless and hungry as fuck during that time of my life, roughly four years ago) but I heard all these stories.

Stories about life and fucking up.

Over and over and how they wished they could be young again and have another shot at life.

For whatever reason one older gentlemen's story fucked me up bad. I can't really remember the exact details but the guys had everything going for him, was a leader in the community and led multiple organizations, everyone looked up to him.

But little did everyone know the guy was drinking almost 15-20 hours a day, every day. And then he got busted.

And then busted.

And then busted again.

After the third time everyone left him. His wife, family, friends. Even his animals. WTF this dude was literally crying his eyes out telling this story in a church in Brecksville, Ohio to about 20-25 people.

I felt so fuckin bad.

This dude had everything.

And he lost it all.

For what?

Some fuckin booze and his inability to realize what was going on.

And those are his words, paraphrased from what I remember.

I remember saying to myself "fuck that." that will not happen to you. You will not let this happen.

So I changed.

I started reading the Bible as much as I could.

And started walking everywhere.

Miles and miles.

Just walking.

And thinking.

Eventually I beat those addictions and now I look back at my life and can't believe I survived.

How the fuck did I survive all those situations I put my body, mind, and soul in the worst possible position.

The number of blackouts.

The number of dumb decisions.

All for what?

No idea and that was the problem I realized.

I was doing everything in my life for myself and really no one else.

I thought by helping people and doing good things it would cancel out the bad things I did in my life like ruining so many girl's lives.

That shit still haunts me.

I feel like now I am in the net positive for all the bad I did to others and to my mind, body, and soul.

But guess what?

I am fuckin alive and have been in the net positive for probably the past year or two because the Universe and God has been dropping blessings left and right.

Started off last year moving from Akron to Lake Norman to start my dream of Full Tank petroleum, a marine fuel delviery service. We raised money and we were off.

Had an epic house, epic life, epic friends, and we were working for ourselves.

How cool is that?

But guess what happened?

We failed.

And I made a lot of mistakes like splitting the investment to go after two people's dreams instead of the one.

But the biggest one I made was I got back on Adderall.

Our friend and business partner Max was prescribed it and have been for a while.

So guess what we did?

All four of us crystal souls (@derekmiller, myself, and my friends Max & Zach) started poppin them like they were candy.

Every freakin day another one.

"O a few hours later yeah I need that and its free why not. Give me another one Max."

No problem, here you go Paul."

"Thanks my dude."

And off to work we all went.

We did a lot of fuckin good while we were there. We met a lot of new crystal souls and had life-changing experiences I wouldn't change for the world.

But ultimately we failed on the mission of starting Full Tank Petroleum and we had to move on.

Vegas, California, and back to Akron. It was a wild year. But one of the biggest accomplishments I think I have made is I finally beat that shit.

That addiction to Adderall.

That shit atleast for me is terrible. It kills my aura, lowers from body's frequencies, and makes me act in a way I would "normally" do among other things.