I remember

It's been almost seven years now. But I still remember the smell of your hair, and the look you would give me before you would ask me something like you were scared to ask even though you knew I would say yes. The way you told me that you wanted to be with me when I told you that I liked you. How you would go with me to do things you weren't really interested in because you knew I wanted to. I remember telling myself not to fall in love with you because I was scared of being hurt. I remember that late summer day when you came over while I was raking leaves and I saw you with the sun shining through your hair and the way it danced in your eyes that made me realize that I had. I remember when we snuck out to your car those late Sunday nights just to sit in the back seat, hold each other, and listen to music. I can still taste that chapstick you used that I hated and the way it would always get on my lips when we kissed. I remember they way you looked at me that made me feel like there was nothing else in the world. I remember the feeling of being with you and that baggy, brown shirt you would wear. I still remember your birthdate and I still have to hold myself back from texting you every year to say happy birthday because I don't want to remind you of me and the way that I hurt you. Because I remember when I started doing the drugs that made me forget who I was. Because I had some things in my past that I didn't know how to get over. And I remember the look on your face when you begged me to stop. I remember when I told you I didnt know how. And I remember the way you looked when you saw me like that. I remember the pain in your eyes when you felt like you weren't enough to make me happy. I remember when I forced myself to tell you those lies so that I could feel better about saying goodbye. I remember the look on your face and I remember the moment when I saw your heart break. But I knew that I was so fucked up that I was no good for you. That I couldn't let myself drag you down too. And I remember that day when you drove away scared, and alone, and in god knows how much pain. That you left that girl behind and moved on to a new name. So you wouldn't have to remember. But I remember. I will always remember. For Always.