Ever taken the time to notice different people's behaviour on the green app? I found that WhatsApp, like other platforms, houses different characters and here are a few from my list;
The memers
All these ones know how to do is post memes all day long. You're looking for where to unwind and laugh and frown, sometimes, just sleep on their status. You can't blame them. That's an effect of being single to stupor.
The ghost contacts
The no-stress gang. You never know if they're dead or alive or ever come online full or them to post pictures or videos or memes or anything...no way. Their last seen and read receipt is usually hidden. Don't be surprised that they are always online and on your trail.
The almajiries
If you belong in this group, I plead with you, come out and beg with you full chest. Which one is, "I want," "who will surprise me with this," "cravings," "🥺." Always posting one thing or another they like. My dear, change your style, it’s outdated.
The business gurus…
Send these ones a "hi", the next thing you get as a reply is "hello lovelies, welcome to slay-collectibles empire. Your online store for all your classy bags, shoes, belts, jewelries. Please save my number so you can be viewing my status and send me your name so I can save yours. Happy shopping! Their popular slogan is "DM for price."
The G boys…
All them Pablo escobar, Taiwan money, juju beast. Their regular posts every day is "Lord, I judge you faithful," "Ask for aza," "I’m active," "Lord, let a Nigga win." And, they must always post one thing about a faithful girl. Lol. Their attachment with mirror selfies and that red disposable wine cup needs to be studied.
The Ex
These ones are yet to heal. They’re in an unspoken competition with their ex.Always posting one thing or another about; true love, heartbreak, forget love and focus on yourself, Women are shit, Men are scum.....Lol.
These are the very ones you'd advice against a relationship yet they'd not pay you attention.
Enjoy your breakfast, my darling. Bona appetit!
The Flash-shares
The only time you had a conversation with this one was probably the day you both exchanged Whatsapp numbers. You both are just status viewers. And the only times they ever message you is when you upload a video or picture they like. The message doesn’t even go beyond "send". Not even a 'please' or 'hello' added. Courtesy is far from this one.
The We-Outside
All that these ones care about is to be giving you hot-hot content. They’re always outside. With every breaking day, they are at a new location. If you have these ones on your list, you'll never lack slay-content. If you're not grounded enough, their life will lead you to depression. Even their drip is new every morning.
The body of Christ
If you are on who immediately picks his phone and heads to WhatsApp once he wakes up, you should probably open their status first. No need to pray as they most likely have written out a Bible passage and a word of prayer. Their status is like a chapel so it's filled with Bible passages, gospel songs, church invites, prayer links and the likes.
But because you're an unrepentant sinner, I know you've already muted their status. Yes, You!
Sports analyst
These ones are only concerned with football match and everything football and betting platforms and sporty bets. Their business is; which coach they're buying, which one is leaving. They know all of the matches from today to, the time, the location, all of the players... everything.
Imagine someone who is loving on urgent 2k, screaming, "...do you Kno how much we bought him? 30 million dollars o."....person wey never chop well.
But I think one good thing football(sporty bet) has helped them with is knowing different countries and capitals.
The All-Rounders.
I want to call these ones the confused lots. They're everywhere. Today it's memes, next minute it's Bible passage, next minute it's sports, next minute it's one relationship nonsense, next minute it's politics. These ones can't find themselves at all.
I have all of these people on my list. I'm certain you do. Which category of people did I miss? Tell me.
Thanks for gracing this post.
Greetings!