Kids do too many weird thing and funny things that you sometimes wonder where they get such ideas. Then you remember that you were a kid who always ran around barefooted and shirtless and you did far worse and almost made your parents get high BP.
Have you ever wondered that maybe the screws holding the brain of a child are unscrewed and with every year they turn +1, one screw is tightened? Just wild thoughts.
With some of you, I know the screws are still left undone. Don't come for me, my head is paining me.
Okay, see this.
You remember how kids put their heads through the space in the burglary(protector) and then try to pass through it, right?. Back then, our parents had warned us to never try it again. It was me and my immediate elder brothers at home one day, the elder one put his head there and got stuck. I wonder how he forgot that he has a large head. He was already panicking and crying. Me, who should be laughing, I joined him to cry. I even attempted to push his head out. His paddy that should have been helping him out was laughing and saying that inorder to get him out, our parents will have go use a saw to cut the iron and his head. He cried like hell that day. I stopped crying when he managed to wriggle out. The relief!! Guess who reported to our parents when they returned from work that day? Yes, me. I'm doing the Lord's work. If they no flog them, wetin I gain?
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Kai!
Then, should our parents get us new stuff, we'll not wear them for days or weeks. Those new things were like gold. One time, my slippers got bad (actually, I cut it by myself because my friend's mother bought her a new one and I wanted that type), I disturbed my mom, she got me one. Okay, wear it nau... problem. I'll hold the slippers in my hands and walk barefooted. If I want to enter someone's house, I'll place it carefully on the ground. If I come out, I pick it up and walk barefooted to wherever it ids that I was going. The day my mother caught me ehn...My God!
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In the evenings, when the moon shone, I walked about shouting and saying that the moon was following me. Almost got into a fight with my best friend who argued with me that it was he who the moon was following. Nonsense! Wasn't until I hit my head on a pole looking at the moon one day that I borrowed myself sense. The akpu(head swell) I got that day ehn.
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I never picked up anything that fell to the floor especially eatables. Even if it was sweet that was unwrapped. My big brother would say that devil had tasted if. They'll pick it up and say that they'll help me dispose of it. I sha caught them one day eating my meat. I crewed!
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There's this house my parents warned us to never go to. But I had coconut head. I'll go there, when I get back home, my parents will not yell at me but in the night, I'll hear, "tusa, tusa..." on my bom-bom. Nights to remember! The next day, see-me, see-the-house. Those people use to eat yam and egg sauce every afternoon. But it's not the food that used to make me go there o.
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I remember then, if I did not want to go to school, I'll feign illness or give an excuse that we were not doing anything serious that day. Other times, when the authorities tell us to inform our parents to pay our fees, I'll not tell my parents. I'll not even give them the notice letter(cause I know they'll pay immediately). It wasn't just me. There was a lot of us. I don't even know how we found being chased out of school fun. But it was sweet sha.
You see that feigning illness or delaying and hoping that rain falls, it never worked on my mother. I just tire for the woman. Even if it's by past 9, you'll still go to school.
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I realize that kids now are no different. They're only just worse and coming up with more creative lines and of course, lies.