You all know me to be someone who takes the, "love your neighbor" saying serious. I'm always looking out for you all, is it not? Well, Today is no different. With the present situation of the country, it's so hard for people to meet their basic needs. And knowing that food is of topmost importance, I went to the drawing board to draft a hack(s), for you all to at least feed okay, with little to no holes made to your pocket.
You don't even have the patience to read this through....A hungry man is an angry man, I know. I'll get into it now...
Become a beggar
First of, I hope you don't think all of the beggars on the street are homeless, poor people? Some are of the middle class, you know. You should know too that, If nobody gives you food, they'd at least give you money that you can exchange for food. Or don't you know the beggars are out to find their daily bread??
Play sick.
This one works well on family and friends. Well, the first thing they might do, will be to buy you malaria drugs and of course, food, to help the drugs work. And you know that in times as this, they'd succumb to your every food craving. Just pretend like you don't want to eat at first, although your heart is throwing a party . Utilize the opportunity. Enjoy the petting and, feast!
New Sunday, new church
Let your church be new every Sunday. You know that churches are very happy to have first-timers and they always welcome them in grand style. So whether it's rice, or meatpie/coke, you'd definitely get something. But I beg you, make your enquires first. Cause, some churches give tract or notepad or Bible or even devotional. Do the needful.
Additional free advice: I'd say you should go to these really big churches. For some of them, you can be coming out every Sunday as a newcomer and no one will recognize you. The trick is 'the crowd."
Get a job at a restaurant
I know too many restaurants don't give free food but some are exceptions. Just get a job there first and you might be lucky. If it's a small restaurant, even better. There'd be leftover. It may not necessarily be the food that you like, but then, you cannot be a beggar with a choice, can you??
Visit family members.
You don't visit a relative and go without being fed. This one is dicey sha, as you need to be careful about which relative you visit. Because, while some might give you eba and soup or rice, some others can give you biscuit and Coca-Cola. Then there's those that'll give you "you're welcome, next time I'll give you something to eat" and even worse, those that'll give you vote of thanks.
This one is beyond me.
Meanwhile, the trick to this one is, when you've exhausted visiting them all, start all over again.
Befriend a chef.
Chefs are always trying out new recipes. So, you can just go by their house and say you were passing by the area and thought to say hi. They'd definitely ask you to sit for a bite. To water the ground too, call them often and they'd think of you as a good friend and show you love the best way they know how -feed you.
An alternative is to befriend girls/guys whose parents sell food and beverages. You can go to the one whose mom sells bread and akara in the morning. In the afternoon, you go the one whose mom sells snacks and, in the evening, you go to the one whose mom owns a restaurant. Three square meal! Rinse and repeat everyday.....I tell you, you go just de chop well de fat.
Attend events with item seven
There's always an ongoing event by the weekend. And there's no event without food. You don't need to know the host. Just dress well and go with swag. Don't also forget to go with extra bag for takeaway. If you're sharp enough, you can attend more than one event a day. Your have no business in knowing if the event goes successful or the wedding couples are happy. E no concern you.... Focus on food. Just eat and go.
Dine with the gods
Forget! The gods are enjoying. Have you seen the content in the bowls people leave as sacrifice to gods? Ha! Rice, beans, plantain, egg, turkey, etc. That's balanced diet plus three square meal. Don't be scared. Even the gods will understand that things are hard.
See, I heard the quantity of seasoning is not always right but your problem is more than that. The main thing na to belleful. You gerrit?....good!
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That's it. Helpful, right?
Now, i know some of you might be thinking that some of these are too low for your person. But what do you care?. A man has to do what a man has to do. Just swallow your pride and get your stomach filled. But, if you cannot swallow your pride, then throw it away.
I know, I know, I know...I'm a thoughtful person.
Don't thank me. You're welcome!!!
Thanks for gracing this post.
Greetings!