In a recent conversation with a good friend, I was remembering some of the things my father use to say to me many years ago. I realize it's quite common to feel nostalgia when talking about our childhood, but aside from missing him as a person, I miss and value the wisdom he always tried to teach me.
A man and his word
This might sound like value for a different time, a different society, but I find this basic truth as powerful as it has always been. Long before society was even close to today’s complexity, everyone seemed to understand the concept of a “man’s word” quite well. I might be accurate in saying that a “man’s word” was the most valuable asset someone could have, and somebody who did not embrace the idea, was seen as an outcast and rightfully so.
In the world of business, social interaction and even relationships however, our word has never truly lost its potential power. To put it bluntly, someone who tries to live a life with a good ethical compass should be very comfortable with the idea of keeping commitments.
Long before societies were a collection of contracts to establish and defend material assets, a man’s word, a promise, a commitment as as valid and effective as the most elaborate of legal document. Today, almost no one sees things this way and as a consequence the attempt to value a promise or commitment becomes the most complex of challenges.
But, It's important to build trust
Among your peers, your business partners and of course with your personal relationships. Understanding or focusing some energy on the subject at hand it's like adding a specialized tool to your belt for exactly this end.
It might seem trivial for me to say that it's important to return a phone call, if you said you were going to call back. If you think the loss occurs in the phone call not happening and the information not being shared, you are only getting half the picture. It's possible the higher cost to the relationship comes in the shape of trust.
The remedy is too simple, always follow through, and as much as it may sound counter intuitive or even negative to say it, to pull this off, to keep all our commitments, we also need to learn when to say no.
Learning to say no
Is always going to be a challenge for everyone. I struggle with this myself enough that is one of the thoughts that I attempt everyday to keep in the forefront of my mind. I have to understand that as much as I would like to do everything, to help everyone, to be in many places at once, the idea that I could ever do so is quite naive and unrealistic.
How many times have you told someone you would take care of an issue, you said yes because you wanted to be nice, but felt embarrassed when you could not deliver? What do you think happened to the worth of “your word” in that occasion?
I’m not making a case to be someone who does not help, or worse, someone who does not want to commit to anything. I’m trying to say in simpler words, that knowing what you can commit to and then doing your absolute best to follow through is the best way I know for building trust.
It’s an everyday practice
And I would like to invite you to give it a try. You might be surprised how much following through with your word impresses people. This might be because it's not that common anymore and its rarity makes it even more precious.
I’ll sign off for now wishing everyone a beautiful and productive start of the week.
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