I went with my friend who i met a couple months before on the streets in Prague.
A girl called Anna.
she was in Portugal when she said to me that she was going to Morocco and i was in the Netherlands.
"I am coming!" I replied.
She was never sure if she was happy with my reply but there i came.
We had a wild ride.
We were two travelers who were good in hiding in darkness and empty streets and now suddenly we had to travel together.
It was an adventure that was the beginning of trust in ourselves.
Our bond in Prague was not broken and we already were good friends who trusted each other but this was to be the adventure that molded our hearts together in a way we never thought we could have such a relationship in this life.
I will write a book about my journey where i will describe every day i spend in Marocco. for now i just wants to follow the flow of experience that my body went through by traveling with someone for that long.
In the end we travelled for 1 month and a half together and this was a lifetime in my eyes.
To be suddenly plunged in an adventure where you would have to depend on somebody else than yourself to work with you and make them happy and guide your mind in a connecting way to hers or that is what this trip could have been: A struggle
This was not the case. It was the most opposite of struggle. Hell, it went so smooth that to this day you will not hear a word from me that the universe is not perfect.
If it was possible for us to meet and become what we became on this journey to each other than the universe is truly guided by the hands of love and connection and every one who even has the slightest doubt about this fact can come to me and i will personally shift the language of their body to manifest the universe inside their bones: You will need to pour some bottles of wine in me or some drug to overcome my issue of having to argue but i will say this; love put his mark there in Morocco when he let us travel together.
Two souls who felt that they were destined for dwelling became two souls who met their counterpart and forevermore they could relax and sip their wine in knowledge that life gave them every wish they ever dreamed of.
We became brother and sister. from the first day it was obvious that our doubts about traveling together were thrown overboard.
Our minds connected on every level and no matter how crazy it got we had each other's back and we pulled through. It was true that we had our own shit that we carried and as every person feels as individual sometimes as a hermit on a mountain but that was it!
We were the same hermits coming from the same Mountain and experiencing freedom in togetherness and new culture for the first time.
Our hearts collided and we could talk about anything and were not afraid to be totally honest to each other.
I remember that journey. It is now two years ago. We talked so much haha, it was a never ending cycle of humor and self denial mixed that kept us talking for hours and hours.
Our beginning in Prague had bonded us much closer together than any brother and sister would care to develop but we could be seen sleeping together, our arms rested in each other and embracing the darkness away.
it all began if i can recall correctly when we noticed that whatever doubt we had, the other one had the same doubt.
We expressed it the same way and we developed the same skill in avoiding contact with our pain. Soon it was clear that we went through the same feelings and together we finally had an outlet where we could express not only who we were but also who we thought we were.
It was a relive too know that whatever i said to Anna she listened and felt it. Vice versa was happening and the outside world had become lighter. More bearable and definitely more colourful.
We could express ourselves and it was out crazyness of trusting the unknown that made us sleep like lovers at the end of a day full of beauty.
Morocco was very kind to us. One day we hitchhiked and the guy who took us could not speak any English but suddenly he placed us in his house where we ate food and met his family and the next day he drove us to his other family who hosted us for three days and we had to run away in the end otherwise we would have been adopted in the family.
We were squatting a beach one day and Anna ordered me to get more water because she spilled water on the campfire so it was my job to fetch some water as she tended to the broken flames. I walked around and by seeing the houses i tended to my courage and knocked on the door of one of them.
The door was opened to see a man standing there. I asked for some water and the response he gave me was this. "Water? of course. come inside, meet my friends. I will not only give you water but also my bed to sleep in my friend and some food because you must be hungry and some thee of course." I went to Anna and asked her to come with me because we have a house now.
In order to fully give you a clear view of how Anna was and why she became my sister i will begin with telling you a story: Once, we were in safi in Marocco and we just left a truck who was so kind to drop us here.
But as soon as our feet were understanding again that it was time to walk Anna cursed!
Suddenly i see her leap of in the direction where the truck headed to. I always need some time to figure out what my mind wants and in situation where it is triggered to respond instantly it feels very stressed.
When i looked after Anna my instinct said that i needed to run after her so i did. After a few seconds i could think more and cursed. The bags!
So i run back and the only thing to do now was to wait. After a few minutes Anna came back with a smile on her face and her sleeping bag in her arms.
It happened that she forgot this sleeping bag in the truck and funny enough she knew this instantly as we got out from the truck.
So she leaps off and runs as fast as she can. Suddenly a bus stops next to her with the doors wide open and some one is shouting at Anna. "Come in!!!!"
Anna jumps in and off they go. Not a moment of stillness is occurring in this transaction. Anna gives direction and within seconds she sees the truck stopping for a red light. The bus stops near the truck. Anna leaves the bus, knocks on the door of the truck. It opens and her sleeping bag is thrown in her arms.
To see this girl is to see the embrace of individuality. She taught me that i was never afraid for myself in the first place.
I was just never on the right place to find the freedom of not being afraid. When she was down and didn't want to see me again for a few hours or a day i respected that, for a time.
In the end i saw a pattern of her habitual thoughts becoming a hindrance to see.
So i made her see. I never made anyone see, i was too obsessed with my own search for freedom that i neglected the cries of even my best friends that needed some one to open their eyes and made them respect their insides again. but this time i faced my fear of openly searching for a confrontation that was not going to be pleasant and smooth.
I was mad and i took her to the grounds of my world. To make her understand what my reality was like and how she affected it. That i loved her and i was never going to leave her alone with her fears.
After the talk she changed. she became more light and i could see that i had broken the pattern or at least i gave her a puzzle piece that she needed to break it on her own.
Travelling is not only about finding yourself. It is about so many other things. As we walk the streets and hold out our insides for others to do with us as they please we trust. Because let's face it. even if you build your walls so high that you cannot even look about and wander the sky with your gaze some people will always find the backdoor and cut you off from your roots so that you will fall down and you will fall down hard.
Travelling is about having no backdoor because there are no walls, no reason for any protection that could cause harm in the future. Travelling makes you understand one thing: We always get affected by the scenery in which we stroll. But most don't have the guts to say what they need. for sometimes it takes a hard word towards your friends to get rid of an energy that keeps you down.
Do not be afraid for if they truly are your friends or the ones you don't want to hurt they will know it even if your words may sound rough.
They will know that there is a heart underneath and they will stay to get in touch with this heart.
If you act out of love for yourself then you are doing what the universe wants you to do.
Morocco taught me that loving yourself also means that you will do shitty things to yourself because you may need all the cycle of life to live the moment wherein your happiness is ever lasting.
