昨天闲来无事又刷到了郎教授的视频，郎教授以非常委婉的叙事方式讲述了他二儿子以及二儿媳给他过生日，并且送他价值16万的劳力士绿眼手表的故事，他拿自己同一个妻子所生的两个儿子进行对比，说其中老大小时候，尽管他打骂管教非常多，但是这个儿子却经常在学校惹是生非，打架闹事，被学校开除。长大后也并不懂得感恩，反而把什么过错都推给他，而二儿子虽然他不怎么管教，甚至他觉得自己没有尽到做父亲的责任，反而他二儿子非常孝顺，现在他二儿子还每个月给他15万的工资，但是希望他do nothing。
郎教授认为子女有自己的福报，并不是父母通过管教就能够管教好的。当然我也在其中看到了郎教授作为一个老年人低调的炫耀，这种行为和普通的农村老头老太太没什么差别，只不过表达得特别委婉：哎呀，你看我家儿子给我买了一个这么昂贵的手表，我儿子儿媳陪我过生日，我儿子每个月给我发15万的工资~ 当然这也是值得炫耀的事情，毕竟不是每个父母都能够养出这样的子女。其中他二儿子找了个韩国媳妇这件事，他从中破坏了五年，希望他儿子能够到中国来找门当户对的，结果他二儿子还是和这个女生结婚了。
当然郎教授对于他儿子的培养也是付出过许多的，比如他送二儿子去日本学日语，送去韩国学韩语，对于普通家庭来说，很难给子女安排这样的出路，如果在国内上不好学，家里没出路的，一般都是出去打工挣钱了，还哪里能安排去美国、日本、韩国呢？虽然这些安排并不一定对孩子的发展就非常有利，但是在这些经历中，我想小孩也总能够学到适合自己的经验，对于增长人生的见识也是会起到很大的作用，以郎教授的财力，我相信在他孩子求学的过程中，他也给到了金钱方面的大力支持，这点也很关键。
打骂孩子的管教方式没有用，但是作为一个家长，有时候真的还是会忍不住打骂孩子。当然事后也会反思自己，到底是自己情绪的发泄，还是小孩子这个问题罪不可恕？特别是新手妈妈的时候，现在反省一下，很多时候是自己的情绪问题，而并不是小孩子的问题，大多数小孩子都天真无邪，对这个世界充满好奇和探索欲望。但是也能明白一个在为事业奔波的中年人，可能根本就对小孩子的成长顾若惘闻，简单粗暴，这大概也是“隔代亲”的缘故，因为到老了，开始回顾自己在育儿过程中的过错，于是补充给了孙子辈的。
我想这里的无为也并不是说什么都不做，而是在关键的时候做一些事情。比如父母应该给孩子提供的基本的生存物质，财力支持等，一分钱难倒英雄好汉，也能为一个还在成长发育的孩子撑腰。是否在孩子在一个地方受阻的时候，提供多元化的方案，让他们能够有不同的发展渠道？有时候把孩子逼上绝路的并不是绝路本身，而是切断了他们其他的路。如果父母没有这样的眼界和实力，那还是应该少做点，而更多的额鼓励孩子自己去拼搏和发现，说不定他们自己能够找到一片属于自己的天地。
English translation by AI for someone who is interested in my post but from other countries:
Yesterday, I happened to watch a video by Professor Lang. In the video, he tells the story of his second son and daughter-in-law celebrating his birthday and giving him a Rolex "Green Eye" watch worth 160,000 yuan. He compares his two sons, both from the same wife. He mentions that the eldest son, despite being disciplined and even scolded a lot during his childhood, often caused trouble at school, got into fights, and was expelled. When he grew up, he didn't show much gratitude and often blamed everything on his father. In contrast, his second son, despite not being disciplined much and the professor feeling that he hadn't fulfilled his responsibilities as a father, is very filial. Now, the second son gives him 150,000 yuan in salary every month but hopes that he "does nothing."
Professor Lang believes that children have their own destiny and that parenting doesn't always determine their success. Of course, I also noticed that Professor Lang, as an elderly man, subtly flaunted his success. This behavior is not much different from ordinary rural elders, except that it is expressed in a very indirect way: "Oh, look, my son bought me such an expensive watch, my son and daughter-in-law celebrated my birthday, and my son gives me 150,000 yuan every month!" Of course, this is something to be proud of, as not every parent is lucky enough to have children like that.
The story about his second son marrying a Korean woman was also discussed. Professor Lang tried to stop it for five years, hoping his son would marry someone more suitable from China, but in the end, the second son still married the Korean woman.
Of course, Professor Lang also invested a lot in his children’s education, such as sending his second son to Japan to study Japanese and to Korea to learn Korean. For an ordinary family, it is rare to offer such opportunities. If children don't perform well academically in their home country, they usually end up working abroad. How many families can afford to send their children to study in places like the U.S., Japan, or Korea? Although these arrangements might not necessarily guarantee the child’s development, such experiences still help children gain valuable lessons and broaden their horizons. Given Professor Lang’s wealth, I believe he provided strong financial support for his children’s education, which is crucial.
The method of punishing children through corporal discipline doesn't seem effective, but as a parent, sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to scold or punish children. Of course, after the fact, parents tend to reflect on whether it was an emotional outburst or whether the child's behavior truly deserved punishment. Especially as a first-time mother, reflecting now, many times it was my own emotional problem, rather than the child's. Most children are innocent and curious, full of wonder about the world. However, I can also understand that a middle-aged person who is busy with work might pay little attention to their child's growth, being simple and even harsh in their approach. This might be the cause of the "grandparent's favor" because, as parents age, they start reflecting on their past mistakes in child-rearing and then compensate for them by spoiling their grandchildren.
I think the concept of "doing nothing" here doesn’t mean doing absolutely nothing, but rather doing the right things at crucial moments. For example, parents should provide basic living necessities and financial support to their children. Money is often the key to resolving many challenges, and it can be a strong foundation for a child still growing and developing. When a child encounters a block or obstacle, should parents offer diverse solutions and help them find alternative paths? Sometimes, it’s not the obstacle itself that forces children into a corner, but the fact that all other options have been cut off. If parents lack the vision or resources, it might be better to do less, and encourage children to work hard and discover their own path. Who knows? They might be able to find a world of their own.
