We spend much of our day running at full speed. It's not surprising, therefore, that we might roll our eyes at the idea of adding more things to our to-do list, especially if it involves trying harder to please our mate. Are they doing enough for me, you might ask? While it's important to have your own needs met, it's also vital to see your marriage as a partnership.
Marriage requires hard work and sacrifice. It requires teamwork and remember, there is no “I” in teamwork. It is not about you alone or your husband too. It is about both of you. Therefore, don’t wait for him to send that flower first. You don't have to wait for your husband to start doing the right things — be the one who sparks the change! So, in that spirit, here are some things that your husband wishes you'd do more often.
ENJOY LIFE, HAVE FUN
Life can be so hectic nowadays it's easy to lose sight of what's important. We are often juggling multiple obligations at once and, in order to keep up, we can become fixated on maintaining certain schedules and routines — but what if, once in a while, we got spontaneous and cancelled plans in order to do something outlandish or fun?
Your husband would probably love it if you just let loose and decided to go with the flow for a change. It might be tough, at first, to buck with tradition but, ultimately, you will probably end up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.
Pro tip: Ditch the office during lunch time and meet up with your hubby instead. You will both enjoy that extra time together in the middle of the day!
DITCH THE MAKE UP
When it comes to your own appearance, do what makes you feel happy and comfortable. If that means applying makeup every morning, then so be it! We all deserve to feel good in our own skin.
That being said, why not skip the beauty regimen once in a while? Despite what the magazines try to sell us, studies are showing that men actually prefer when women wear less makeup. Who would have thought?
Pro tip: On your next date night, try a more natural look, and see if he comments on the change. As long as you feel beautiful, and you're up to it, why not experiment a little!
LET IT GO
No man likes a nagging wife. Men hate it! If you've had to repeat something multiple times or just happen to be having a bad day, it's really tempting to just harp on some problem or mistake your husband has made. You might even be venting about a friend, family member, or coworker who has upset you in some way.
It's definitely important that you continue to communicate with your husband — and you deserve to see him as a confidante — but once you have made your point, he might appreciate if you reel it in a little.
Your blood might still be boiling but you will know when the opportunity arises, that this time, it's best to drop it.
BE DOMINANT ONCE IN A WHILE
We like to make the first move and love the control of dominating things, making choices for others especially the family, taking the initiative to make things happen but we also love a woman who takes the initiative to make the first move.
We don’t have to initiate sex, jokes or conversations. We all have our preferences about whether we are the pursuer or the pursued, and really, many women seem to prefer being chased.
As long as your partner is fine with this dynamic, it's no one's business but your own. Deep down, though, he might really wish that — once in a while — you were the hunter. Of course, there are plenty of relationships where the wife takes on this role regularly but, if you traditionally haven't, it could be a nice surprise.
PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE!
The age of snapchatting and instagramming every aspect of your life should have its limits. Not everything is for social media, especially your love life and family. Learn to micro-gatekeep the content of what you put out there.
Also, it’s pretty frustrating to try to have a conversation with someone when their face is buried into the screen of their phone. We've all been annoyed by this, yet, we still do it to others on a regular basis.
Your husband probably wishes you'd toss that thing aside more often and focus on him, especially if you are easily upset by things you see on social media (and, therefore, need to vent), or the glare keeps him up at night!
Pro tip: First thing in the morning and right before bed, try to have a "phone-free" chat with your husband so that you begin and end each day feeling connected.
BE MORE ADVENTUROUS
Do you find it hard to step out of your comfort zone? If so, you are not alone. It's so much easier to stick with what we know than to strike out and engage in completely new (possibly scary) experiences.
It's very possible, therefore, that your husband would love for you to try something he loves or is interested in but you aren't too sure about.
Pro tip: Once a week, push yourself to delve into uncharted territory, even if it's just making an unfamiliar meal or trying looking for another way to keep the kitchen cleaner.
You'll only grow stronger from the experience! In short, let him see you challenging yourself. It will challenge him and build trust between both of you.
APPRECIATE HIS EFFORTS
Too often in a relationship, we take our partner's contributions for granted. Pay attention to the things your husband does to make you happy and let him know how much you appreciate it.
You could buy some sticky notes and randomly leave them around the house with encouraging words for your hubby. You will both probably get a boost from the positivity!
BE REALISTIC
Society, especially social media and television perpetuates a lot of myths about what a good marriage should look like.
What if your husband doesn't bring you flowers, but always makes sure your car is gassed up, the toilet paper roll is replaced, and the air filters are changed on time? Are your unrealistic expectations about romance interfering with your ability to see the ways in which he shows you how much he loves you?
Learn to appreciate the little things. They make up the big things. Don’t live a social media life. It may be too expensive for your husband and to your marriage.
