Personally, I'm not close to my uncle's and aunties, yeah. I'm just being honest here, if I should think about it very well, it seems I'm only close to one or two from my mum's side and also one or two from my dad's side too. And even those ones I'm saying I'm close too, it's not like we're really that close, not as if we call each other or check in on each other, but then they are the few I can see always trying to come through and all of that.
I know a lot of them though, if not all. There are even some that if they come by, I wouldn't even step out for them to see me or know that I'm around. These are relatives, these are people we call family, these are people that we share the same blood, even still a lot of us seem to just be strangers. There are stuffs I hear going on in the family and I don't even bother, to me it is between them.
And you know what, most of these people that I'm not close too, it's not as if we fought, some I just don't like the way they behave and for others it is just distance..and the distance stretched for a very long time that it now feels like we don't even share anything. And you know when such happens everyone is always on their own doing things, you just start hearing that your Uncle who traveled to Calabar some years back is now married, in a matter of time you hear he's given birth and that's all, and in few years time you're being told that the child is coming over to either write jamb or waec and would be staying together with you in your parents house. Like, how does that feel, the uncle you probably couldn't even make out his face again....
So, like that everyone keeps having their own life, giving birth to their own children, not trying to keep the bid strong, distancing self and then all kids grow up to not even know each other. And like that, another generation adds too, when even the past ones don't recognize or know each other.
I do not want that kind of a thing for my own kids, and I'm grateful to God for my own kind of siblings. You know, they're doing excellently well with the way we're relating. Even though some of the are married and aren't staying close, we still get to talk, we get to play, they come over, we spend time together, we call, we do video call and all of that. None of my brothers children would see me and stammer to call or recall my name. And I want it to be like that with my own children too, they must know and be close with my own siblings and their kids too.
I mean my kids would know their aunt's, uncle's, cousins, I want them to share very close bonds, I want them to visit each other, I want them to have memories, I want that we don't and won't only get to see and talk only when we have family functions like weddings and the likes. I want them to have people outside of us their parents who would also love, support, cherish, and care for them.
And I really believe it will be so between my own children and my siblings. Like I said earlier my older siblings have already laid a good foundation and are making sure we're having very good relationships even with their own children. So, that is a good sign already. None of us is planning to separate, even when we have issues we make sure to settle it as soon as possible and make sure it is not dragged into what would later become....you know distance.
And even though it is understandable and sure that we won't always be physically there and available for each other, it is good that we still maintain good relationships and continue to grow the bond. The internet has helped make things easier these days and that's why you will find me on video call, joking and playing with my brothers kids. The fact that we are not physically close to each other shouldn't make me a stranger to them, or them a stranger to me.
The truth is just that like every other thing, family relationships need effort too. If we're not putting effort, we can't expect to keep the bond strong. That of my own uncles and aunts are gone already and there's nothing I can do about it, but I feel I'm still in control and can decide what will and can happen with my own family.
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