Tl;Dr - no... no, you read this.
It's worth it. There are no shortcuts in life... so there's no shortcut here.
Spend a few minutes reading this, get to know me and learn some history about the old days of gaming via my experiences... told in a hopefully funny manner.
Without further ado... My Lords... My Leiges... and everyone else NOT sitting on a PILLOW... It is my great honor to introduce Ulllllllllllllllllrich Von Lichten... SMACK 😵😵😵
Nope, sorry. Wrong intro... Without further ado...
Greetings my fellow Splinterlunds... Spl... Splinterlandians?
Yeah, going with that... Splinterlandians.
Anywho... where was I? Oh yes! Please allow me to introduce myself...
CaptainDingus here,
A veteran nerd and TCG player. I've spent my life among the various forms of nerdery... nerdism... 🤷♂️... whatever.
I shall provide a bit of history for your entertainment and to honor one of the best friends I could ever hope for.
I played Magic: The Gathering at a fairly high level in the old days (I'm old-ish, deal with it). I qualified and played in the National Championships, met Richard Garfield, bested Darwin Kastle, I've hung out with RK Post, had dinner with Christopher Rush... blah blah blah, #NerdCred 😎
I played Warhammer and WH40k and won some local and Regional tourneys, nothing seriously major, blah blah blah, TableTop games are fun... My truly epic TT feat was ACTUALLY COMPLETING A GAME OF AXIS AND ALLIES. #NerdCred
As an Elder Millennial, I was there at the dawn of the internet. I saw it born unto this world and reveled in awe at it's potential.
Video games were also introduced at a young age - Arcades with my father in the late 80s, an NES for my 7th birthday...
flashback scene
My Precious... Err... My NES was gifted to me, cleverly hidden in a Mr Coffee box... being poor as shit growing up, I did my best to fake being happy at the Mr Coffee. Even though it wasn't REMOTELY on my radar as something I'd want or use...
At that moment it didn't matter... I was happy to go bowling. I was happy to see my mom and dad at the same time (divorced). I was happy my babysitter came (15 years old, how cool was I!) I was grateful for the all people who showed up ♥️...
As I was trying to figure out why on Earth I would get a Mr Coffee or what to do with it I said the first thing that came to mind... puzzled frown... fades to smile...
"Well mom, I know how much you like coffee... we can share this so you can use my new coffee maker!" - cue the water works 😭😭😭
She says to open it and PRESTO!!! My fancy, yet extremely disappointing Mr Coffee was actually my babysitters former NES in disguise (lucky bastard got a Sega and Mortal Kombat).
(I still have that NES [redacted] years later).
My NES eventually led to a Sega, to a 3DO and a vast collection of consoles... However, in 1994... an event that FOREVER changed my life occurred: Wing Commader 1 was rereleased on PC for Windows and I was HOOKED. #NerdCred
Fun sidenote - we bought this from WalMart (YeeYee) and I was belligerently excited... but I wasn't supposed to play it right away...
Can't remember why, I was only [redacted] years old.
Anyways, like the lil turd sniffer I was, I installed it and started playing at like 2 in the morning lmaooo
Unfortunately, mom woke up and I was grounded... FOR TWO WEEKS 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😭😭😭
Well... Those two weeks felt like an eternity but afterwards HOLY SHIT!! WC1 was the best game I had EVER PLAYED up to that point...
WC1 led to all sorts of games - F15e Strike Eagle, Darklands (best old school, historical fantasy RPG out there and it's remastered on Steem)... so many more... Then, shortly after my [redacted] birthday in 1995... Command & Conquer was released and my gaming life changed.
Around the same time in the summer of '95, I met Jay Coe, who would become one of my best friends, wisdom givers and co-nerd. Unfortunately, he is no longer with us, RIP my dude 😢
He introduced me to Magic: The Gathering. After pestering him for a bit (I was a little kid at the library and he was a "cool" high school athlete)... Anyway... After I asked a bunch of questions, he gave me a rulebook (tiny fucking things back then with SUPER TINY PRINT... google image search a 4th Ed MTG Rulebook)... He told me to go read it and come back when I was done.
Reflecting upon these memories, I realize this was a very polite "fuck off, kid" although I didn't see it that way. I thought he was AWESOME for even sharing that with me 😅
I triumphantly returned 20 minutes later stating "DONE" very matter-o-factly. Nonplussed about the situation, he began quizzing me based on the cards in play. I fucking nailed it... because I was a nerdy little [redacted] year old.
So, true to his word, he introduced me to Revised Edition MTG (4th Ed too) and taught me how to play. I bought a starter deck and a few booster packs with my meager allowance and was ready to go! Unfortunately, you need a lot more than a starter deck and two boosters to have anything barely playable... So he gave me some lands, commons and a few rares to help me out (I was still really poor and to me this was downright Saint-worthy).
Naturally, C&C led to Red Alert, led to Star Craft, led to Ultima Online where I found I could farm/mine in game items... and sell them on eB... some internet auction site 😳... totally didn't violate their EULA or anything... 🙈
UO led to WoW... and WoW fatefully led to MTGO in 2005 (same year I went to 'ships #NerdCred) Magic The Gathering Online, or MTGO was a foray into the NFT... however, your account and every card, token, pack, etc was owned by Wizards of the Coast or WOTC.
One really amazing and innovative feature of MTGO was this:
If you collected a complete set of Digital Cards that was currently in print, like "Planar Chaos" for example, you could pay $5 for S/H and "Redeem" the online set for a Factory Sealed PHYSICAL version that was mailed to you.
I shit you not. This was so bad-ass, revolutionary and WAY AHEAD of its time. This is a piece of Online/NFT/Gaming history here. I was part of it and I feel like it needs sharing for the younger crew to understand how we got here #NerdCred
I made a lot of money playing/buying/selling/redeeming cards at this time. In addition to playing I learned how to maximize my $USD -> $Tickets (in-game currency). I abused the trade systems and often ended up with sets costing me $20-$30 or so (sell them for $125+) #BrokenEconomy
Keep in mind, several hundred dollars a month in 2005, for a kid who grew up with hand me downs... well those extra few hundred bonus bucks were a lot of cash!
Fast forward to May of 2012 (I got married several months later...womp womp)
May of 2012 would see the fateful release of Diablo III and in my opinion, one of the first steps in NFT Gaming combined with the intro to legitimate Virtual Game Currency -> $USD
You see, the original launch of Diablo III had a BRILLIANT and extremely innovative idea to divide the Auction House (AH) into two parts:
Part 1 - take your in-game items and sell them for Gold (in-game currency). Pretty standard stuff.
Part 2 - take your in-game items and sell them for... checks notes PAYPAL?!?!?
HOLY FUCKING SHIT... I CAN EASILY MAKE ACTUAL FUCKING $$$$ PLAYING THIS GAME?!?!
This was their attempt at allowing us to do what we already did... selling Virtual Goods for actual $$$. Except by creating this outlet, we weren't violating any EULAs or TOSs.
Needless to say, I set my sights on the launch and focused my raw nerd powers combined with years of experience into prepping for this...
Game launches, I play a lot, I beat the game fairly quickly annnnnnnnd it's gone.
Seriously... that's it?!?!? All the hype led to roughly 16 hours of playtime... WTF?!?
Replay value was almost non-existent so I turn my sights to the AH and how I could break the economy.
flashback waves
Back in my UO days I discovered a trick where you could take a Giant Beetle... think giant bug... but also pack horse... that serves a mount... yeah I know what you're thinking and I can see the look on your face... Believe me, I'd be right with you if I was just hearing about these shenanigans more than a decade later lmao
"uHh Wut???"...
Anyways... where was I? Ahh yes... Giant Beetle.
Take a Beetle, go into PvP territory - exact clone of PvE map but with PvP... 🤷♂️... I didn't make the game... ok.
Anyways... The NPCs were the same in both PvP and PvE realms too. Seriously. Exact. Copy.
If you go to Fel (PvP) you can visit the NPC Shops and buy/sell goods there, just like in Trist (PvE). THE KEY WAS THIS:
UO had an interesting NPC Shop system. If you bought an Item, the next Item was +1 price... when you sold them, it was -1 price. It cooled down over time but that's roughly how it worked.
The PvP system in UO was kinda shitty and very rarely did people venture into Fel because there were no major benefits and if you strayed into the wild you'd get ganked quicker than a Dwarf in a back alley of Undercity.
This meant... If you had a Giant Beetle and visited the shops in Fel... you could buy all the Items (in this case Gems) at !Floor price...
Pack yourself and Beetle full af and lug it all back to Trist (yes, weight affected you in the game)...
Look at this stupid thing... Back in the day though... Stronk.
Since the PvE side of the server had THOUSANDS of players... well... Lets just say I made several million gold in a VERY short time this way. #BrokenEconomy #IntroToArbitration
Since the game was clearly lacking content, I focused on breaking the economy of the AH.
I wanted to make a LUDICROUS amount of Gold and buy all the good gear just like in UO... or whatever... blah blah blah... gotta earn that #NerdCred among my friends in my raid group (Jay Coe inlcuded).
After grinding for a few days and accumulating roughly 75Mn Gold... I pored over the AHs and when I thought I found the perfect one... I splurged and bought the Axe called Skorn. My raiding group was aghast at the prospect of spending 74Mn on a SINGLE ITEM 😡💢😡
! NFT Properties: Skorn, like all Legendary items in D3, was Named. When you picked it up (found/looted it) all you saw was the Name of the Lego and a bunch of ???? for the stats. You then had to ID or "Roll" stats and could get a variety of Stat Bonuses/Gem Slots/OtherStuffIcantRememberBecauseItWasALongTimeAgo 😅 !
Just like our current NFTs, it had all the properties required - Unique Item, Non Fungible, Varying Stats, Can be traded/sold/destroyed.
!! Key Note - 1Mn Gold could be bought from Blizzard via Paypal for $1 USD !! 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🧐🧐🧐🧐
Back to my story:
(Several of us were at my house having a few beers)
I came back from my PC after a few minutes to tell them what I bought. They all said I was dumb and shoulda bought a set of raid gear, gems, etc, blah blah blah.
I replied with "Yeaaaaaaah but I think I can sell this for $126.50 in the Real World Auction House (RWAH)".
They stared at me and blinked a few times before laughing and resuming their earlier conversation about how I'd never get that back and I wasted the Gold... but at least I had a kickass Axe.
I said "Laugh all you want and you may be right... but at least I can use it if it doesn't sell... but I think it will and I set a notification on my Battle.net account to buzz my phone when m---- bzzzzzzz 👀👀👀 bzzzzz... auction... ends...?"
Silence... followed by Jay "No. Way... Tell me that's just a text or something"...
Me: Yeah... it was a text... Triumphantly Displays Text "Item Sold: Skorn. Sale Price $126.50"
Jumping out of my chair I shouted something along the lines of "BOOYA MOTHERFUCKERS I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!!! IM GONNA BE RICH BITCHES!! 😎😎😎😎"
#NERDCRED MOTHERFUCKERS! (ok, I didn't say that part)
Right... cough Back to it...
After this, I quickly learned how to scalp MASSIVE Arb off the AHs and amassed a FORTUNE in Diablo Gold. In about 6 weeks I had over 1 Billion Gold... fucking staggering amounts of Gold back then. Shortly after, I had a billion gold worth of gear AND a billion gold.
Sorry about the shitty picture quality here... I obviously took a photo of my PC with a Potato... and it didn't translate well lmao... fucking 2012 Smartphone 🥔.
My UO and D3 success was all thanks to a skill called Arbitration (had no idea that term existed, it just made sense) in addition to Arb, I learned to spot disparity in markets and how to take advantage of that #BrokenEconomy #NerdCred
Little did I know how useful this would be later 😉
In late 2013 I discovered Bitcoin, Crypto and life has never been the same... for better and worse lmao 😅 #NerdCred...?
However... THAT will be a story for another day. I've gone on too long as it is, I'm certain I'll lose a lot of readers along the way but if you made it this far... drop a comment, vote or something idunno... !Pizza or !Beer me or even BOOOO me... but now you have my version of Gaming and NFT History as I lived them as well as why I love Splinterlands so much!
The next installment will be my personal History with Crypto... From the wild west days of exchanges, mining via Milk Crates, the very first ASICs and more... if anyone actually reads this... or not. I'll do it regardless... Good stories need to be told.
Until next time Splinterlandians!
I'd like to say thank you to my sponsors:
Sponsor number one is Dan Cummins and the Time Suck weekly podcast... who are most certainly not related to, endorse or associate with me in any way... but I appreciate his Sucks and they're fantastic - you should check it out (Wait... I think this makes me his sponsor now... 🤔)
Sponsor number two of course is WHIPPLE, MOTHERFUCKERS. Whipple naturally being the imaginary sponsor of Dan Cummins on his Time Suck podcast - goddamnit he's funny and very informative. Great Storyteller.
Ok, to be fair... in all honesty... I don't have sponsors and completely made up the part where he endorses me... but I bet if he knew me... he would... but that's probably just my imagination too 😐
(Go check out TimeSuck if you like history and other cool shit ya fuggin' nerds)
In the end, I will say a big part of who I am today is the friendship I shared with Jay.
May you be at peace, wherever that may be - even if it is only in our hearts and memories.
If you made it this far... take a moment, the next time you get together with your family, Vin Diesel, your gaming buddies, your guild, whomever... and tell them how much you appreciate them - you never know when you won't have that opportunity ever again.
I hope you enjoyed the read, learned some things and hope to read some comments...
Until next time...
Cheers 🍻🍻🍻,
CaptainDingus
