It's been about 3 months since I last indulged in video games and there's no coincidence that this time period lines up exactly alongside my sobriety.
Kicking the habit of gaming was a serious turning point for me although it took far too many years for me to realise that it was an underlying factor that added to the downward spiral.
I've been exposed to video gaming and computers since a young age. Maybe not as young as the kiddos these days though, I still went outside and rode bikes, made fires, jumped around on roofs, and whatnot.
The gaming desire probably started back in primary school when I used to read adventure quest books with friends where you made choices and jumped to different pages. We used to make mazes ourselves on paper and wrote our own stories. The nostalgic vibes are hitting hard.
After that, there was always the newest in trend gaming device being talked about in school, from the Pokemon days of the Gameboy Colour, up to the Xbox 360 and PS3 when I was leaving school. It was the norm and I can see how that has progressed in recent times.
My not-so-distant relationship with gaming was a very unhealthy one. I was running away from my problems and trading out my own reality for the reality of video games and the procrastination haze that they provide.
Every downfall I've ended up in has started with a boring Friday night where I've said "Oh yeah, I'll play that again".
It starts as a few hours of enjoyable gameplay and ends up with full days into months being spent disconnected from real life and avoiding the world. I've got one of those 'all or nothing' personalities and gaming is just not a good fit for me.
This pattern is made even worse when it's paired up with other habits that are highly destructive to mental and physical health.
I'm glad I managed to realise the trigger that gaming was for me and I'm now happier than I have been for years. There is an insidious nature to the activity if you aren't in control of your shit and it can quietly start pulling you away from your responsibilities if you let it.
I can't get any time back, but I'm definitely making up for what was lost now from all those hours spent in whatever digital world took my fancy.
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