The Pregnancy, Part One
We had to fasten our seat belts at the first doctor's visit. We didn't let go of the "Oh Shit" handle until the bitter end. There was never a moment when we thought everything was going to be ok. Looking back, I was really naive about the whole process. I knew how everything worked, I just never thought I'd have problems. No one in my family had any difficulties during their pregnancies, and I assumed I would be the same.
I went to the first appointment not knowing what to expect. I was asked a lot of questions and then I was taken to the ultrasound room. They performed an abdominal ultrasound, which I knew wasn't the optimal way for an early visit because baby was so small. I was surprised when they started the exam, but in the moment, I didn't fight it. They assumed my gestational weeks based on my last menstrual cycle. Clearly, I knew exactly when conception had occurred, and knew that I was five weeks, but they insisted I had to be seven. My periods are usually 39-40 days apart and I ovulate at 3.5 weeks, not two. The ultrasound showed only an empty sac. I was told that the pregnancy was probably not viable and scheduled for another appointment in two weeks.
It was a horrible two weeks; the longest two weeks of my life. At the next appointment, they performed another abdominal ultrasound and saw the same thing, only the empty sac was bigger. The tech decided to do a vaginal ultrasound at that point, and there he was, a fetal pole with a tiny little heartbeat. I immediately felt relief, and a bit cocky, if we're being honest. I had blood work done before seeing the doctor. I was waiting for an apology, what I got was another scare. The doctor said I was still measuring small. He said he was afraid my progesterone was low and that's why they did blood work. He told me it should be at 20 and if it was any lower than 5, I would miscarry.
I went home feeling defeated, once again. I waited for two days to get the phone call. I was told my progesterone was at 4.8. I was unwilling to accept what the doctor told me. I spent ten minutes researching and found out that it was too low to sustain a pregnancy. I called the doctor and asked to be put on progesterone. He told me he really didn't think it would work, but was willing to call it in. I took my first dose within thirty minutes of finding out it was low.
Two days later, we were eating dinner, and I began having horrible cramps. I knew it was the end. I waited. I waited for days for the miscarriage to happen. I knew it was imminent. I went to the doctor the next week expecting to see no growth on the screen. Once again, there he was. He looked like a little baby now. His heart was beating strong. The doctor seemed genuinely shocked. At that appointment, I was asked if I'd like to do genetic testing and find out the gender. I agreed to the testing and the blood was taken that day. The next two weeks went pretty well. I was excited to find out the gender and nervous about the genetic testing.
At my next appointment, I was told the tests came back inconclusive and they would have to run them again. I was informed that the only other time that he had received inconclusive results, the baby had Down's Syndrome. Needless to say, it was another two weeks of anxiety. The thought of my baby having Down's Syndrome was agonizing, but I also knew that everything would be ok. I have seen the fulfilling lives people with Down's Syndrome can live and I knew that we would make it work.
Ten days later, I received an email from Natera. I immediately logged into my account and opened the document. The first thing I saw was the fetal sex, male. At the bottom we're the genetic test results. The chances of my son having a genetic abnormality were reduced to less than 1/10,000.
That evening, I bought a card to share the good news with Carmen. I hesitate to put this in writing, but am going to because I know a lot of people have had similar feelings. We were briefly disappointed to find out we were having a boy. We had both imagined having a little girl. I think most women dream of having a baby girl. I can now say with absolute certainty, the disappointment faded away and disappeared completely when we met CG. Now, we can't even imagine having anyone in our life other than his sweet little soul. He is incredible.
I have summed up only the first twelve weeks of my thirty-one week pregnancy thus far. I feel that this is a good stopping point for now, as the remainder of the pregnancy didn't get any easier. I am glad I have joined the incredible writers here on Steemit, and will continue this journey with you soon!
