Childhood is the learning phase, the stage where children are taught right from wrong, where they learn what is good and bad, and the consequences of their actions.
Some parents give their children everything except discipline, often because of what they themselves went through while growing up.
Some grew up in poverty without three square meals a day, while some grew up with very strict parents and felt their childhood wasn’t enjoyable because of it. So they promise themselves that their own children will never go through the same thing.
But sometimes they only remember the strictness and discipline, forgetting the result of it. They became responsible adults who could distinguish right from wrong and knew the consequences of their actions, yet that is the same thing they now want to take away from their children.
If you don’t let your children understand the consequences of their actions, if you make them see the world as only a good place without preparing them for the hard parts of life, they may grow into adults who cannot take care of themselves without their parents. And the blame will fall on you.
When it comes to physical discipline, I don’t believe it is as bad as some people paint it to be, but there must always be limits. It should never become a habit whenever a child makes the slightest mistake. A child can eventually grow beyond that pain, and the cane or whatever is used for punishment will no longer scare them.
I had a childhood friend whose father was an extreme disciplinarian. His children feared him because of how physically abusive he was.
There was nothing he wouldn’t use to punish them: a cane, a horsewhip, iron, fists… everything. And this isn’t hearsay; I saw it myself many times. He didn’t even hide it. He beat them both inside and outside their house.
That same childhood friend later became a hooligan in school. His father’s beatings made him fearless in the worst way possible. I still wonder where he is today because the last time I saw him was about 17 or 18 years ago.
That is a clear example of how extreme physical discipline can damage a child. It can push them to go rogue at some point. But at the same time, I don’t believe that means physical discipline should be completely ruled out.
I can count how many times my dad beat me.
The first time was when I was very little. I was crying unnecessarily, and he used a wire to scare me and gave me just one lash. That alone kept me quiet.
The second time was during my teenage years. He was angry with my mum and wrongly passed the aggression onto me with a very hot slap that left my ears ringing and my eyes red.
The third time was when I went to play football and came back home very late while it was raining heavily. He had warned me not to go out that day, but I disobeyed him. When I came back, he dealt with me seriously.
Even though it only happened those few times, I still remember each one vividly because they were rare. If it had happened constantly, I probably wouldn’t even remember most of them. My father loved his children and never abused us with extreme physical discipline.
Now that I am a father, when it comes to raising children, my eyes will do the talking, my silence will give the warnings, and sometimes I may go physical depending on the offence, but I will never let discipline become a nightmare for my son.
A little slap on the butt can sometimes be enough correction, but physical abuse will never be a thing in my family. I will make sure we have understanding, love, and discipline together.
Just call me Burl.
I am a professional gamer, motivational speaker and a crypto enthusiast
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