Last year i made a New Years Resolution.
I usually do not make such, as i feel that the turning of one year unto the next is not a sufficient help in motivation, and if i feel strongly about something to make a resolution, i feel i should start it immediately.
But this resolution was to write a blog every day of 2024. And get the badge from https://hivebuzz.me/@builderofcastles for completing "Yearly Author".
And, with the posting of this post, i will have completed 366 blog posts this year.
I must say that this last month i have been fearful that T.H.E.Y. would shut down the internet for a few days, and i would fail by just a few blogs. Fortunately, the internet and the power have not been turned off here.
Many people fail at resolutions, soon after the new year. And there are lots of reasons.
People believe that make a New Years Resolution will give them the willpower to see it through. However, willpower is rarely enough. Especially on something that you put off until the new year to try (again, usually).
For the next bit, lets assume that you DO want to change (this is not always the case, will bring that up below)
The reason to try on New Years is 1) that you feel it is a new leaf you are turning over. And 2) that your friends, knowing about your resolution will help you along your path, giving encouragement. #2 can either be great, or absolutely the worst thing you can do. What you want is someone like a coach. Someone who never berates your for failing, but encourages you to get up every time you fall.
So here is some encouragement and guidance:
You are rewiring your brain.
The first 30 days are the hardest.
After that, it starts to become a habit. When it becomes a habit, your body tends to want to continue, as opposed to stopping as it did in the beginning.
So, do all that you can to make it to 30 days. After that, it gets easier to keep going.
If you want to quit smoking, put the ciggies and the lighter in the top most cabinet. This is making it hard for you to get to them. And, if you will go through all the trouble to get them down, you might really need a cigarette. When you have one, make sure to be present, an in your body. Enjoy the cigarette. Do not look at your phone. It can wait till you are done with the ciggie.
Now, if it is something that you want to do, then make it as easy as possible. If it going to the gym, pack your gym bag, and keep it an an easy place to see, and pick up on the way out to the gym.
If you want to eat healthy, put the good stuff in nice containers at the front of the fridge. And place the things you do not feel you should eat way in the back, or throw it out. Again, if it the cake you are worried about, have a piece of cake when it the desire gets too much (don't wear out your willpower), and enjoy the cake. Stay present while you eat each bite.
Make it easy to do the things you want, and hard to do things you don't want.
Now, not everything is able to be worked through.
Like, if you are using ciggies to get through the stress of your day, because it has built up to extreme levels, well you need to deal with the stress.
If you are triggered by something, that triggers a sharp memory from your childhood (or even just a feeling from your childhood) then you HAVE TO clear these old emotions out before you will ever have a chance of doing what you want.
If you see some television and it makes you feel sad and lonely, so you rush to the ice cream, then it is those triggers that you must work through.
So many of our desires to make ourselves better are blocked by the little, scared, traumatized child within us. And, we need to work with that child, and those emotions that are stuck in our bodies still.
If your New Years Resolution is in this category, you will not be able to overcome it through willpower, ever. You may be able to, but all i have seen is people trading one vice for another vice. You must heal the trauma.
I know this can be sad to hear this, but, if you clear the trauma and heal from the hurt, you will find that the vice you wanted to get rid of, just disappears on its own.
I wish i could say, go to counselling, but they are almost useless in helping you heal from trauma. Some therapists will even traumatize you more.
But, finding a life coach is really helpful (sometimes a certified therapist is not what you need, but someone who works outside of those constraints will get you what you need)
Enjoy the festivities tonight.
I hope that you will be with friends and be in good cheer.
May you have a Happy New Year
