As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned a great deal. I’ve come to see that a lot of the things that we tag as ‘bad behavior’ are not, in themselves, inherently bad. We simply attribute them to people we think are bad people. When we think of such people, certain features come into our head, and as such, when we see those around us displaying such features, we begin to wonder if they too are bad.
I guess this is the area where appearance really does determine how people will treat you. In this big 2025, people still get judged based on how they look, what they wear, and things they do to their bodies. Not necessarily because the acts are bad, but simply because such acts are seen as exclusive to bad people.
Take smoking, for instance, it’s bad for your health. Everyone knows that, but still they smoke. Hell, good people, even men of the cloth are also known to smoke. However, in this part of the world, learning that someone smokes can be a real turn-off for some people. Their respect for you could drop significantly once that is discovered. Because there are people who will never see smoking as a recreational activity. For them, it’ll just be that thing that only ‘bad boys do’. And then, if you’re a woman who smokes…
There are so many things people talk about, and they try to infuse culture into it. Making it seem like in the old days, our ancestors had the opportunities but chose not to do them. But if we’re being honest, that was never the case. I believe that a lot of the things we do today, if our ancestors had them back then, they would have done it as well.
I just feel that we only fight things that we’re not used to. We think that our way of life is the best, and that’s why when someone else tries something new, we find it weird or bad. But then, the funny thing is that only the conventional ‘bad people’ are the ones brave enough to try new things. The people our parents would tell us to stay away from are the ones who kick-start the majority of our fashion trends. And by the time the rest of the world catches up, we’ve gone far.
There was a time when dreadlocks were considered bad, and as a boy with locks, people instantly assumed that you were a criminal, a cultist, a fraudster, or something of that sort. But today, the story is different and the only people who seem to have an issue with locks are the police. Because a boy with locks is a potential fraudster that they can extort money from.
The same can be said for boys wearing earrings or ear studs. The act of wearing them is not bad, but our people have always associated it with bad boys, lover boys, and whatnot. Not to mention that most of the villains in our movies those days used to wear them so much. But then, with time, when our male friends and family members started wearing them, we realized that good boys could wear them too. And just like with locks, the only people who seem to have a problem with that today are the police.
For the ladies, I remember a period when it was considered almost taboo to cut your hair. As a lady, you just couldn’t decide to cut your hair. It was seen as a woman’s ‘glory’ and there had to be a valid reason before cutting it. Back then, if you wanted to cut it, you had to be stubborn and willing to ignore everyone else telling you not to do it. But today, ladies are cutting hair just as often as guys. I know someone who goes primarily on low-cut and uses wigs to supplement. Not because she doesn’t have hair, but because the stress of keeping the hair is just too much.
I can go on and on about issues like these. We initially fought against them, but as our eyes opened, we realized that such things don’t make you bad. You shouldn’t be faulted for wanting to have a say in the way you look. You shouldn’t feel bad for refusing to accept society’s description of what you should look like. It’s your body, your hair, your skin. It’s yours to do as you like.
What matters the most is why you’re doing it. Are you doing it simply because society says you shouldn’t? Or are you doing it because it’s what you genuinely want for yourself? You’ll find that when we make life decisions based on the whims of society, we’ll rarely find fulfilment. However, when we make them based on our own needs and want, it’ll be easy to be happy with the effects of our choices.
So, my dear friend, before you open that ear, draw that tatoo, or cut that hair, answer this question. Why are you doing it?