Digital relationships are something that many of us are familiar with. We have friends from all over the world, people who live far and wide, that we’ve never met physically, but we know all bout them like their next-door neighbor. This is one of the beauties of the digital age, the internet has made the world so much smaller that even when you’re thousands of miles away, you can speak to people in real-time.
This is indeed beautiful and so far, nothing beats it. In the past, people had pen friends, whereby they sent mail across borders. However, that was always slow and replies took months some time. The only way to know what such people looked like was if a picture was attached to the mail. It was a tiresome process.
However, thanks to the digital age, things are so much easier. We can livestream and talk to our friends abroad. But then, it also comes with some major issues. You never really know for sure who you’re chatting with. You can only know as much as they want you to know. Chats can be fiddled with to influence you, pictures can be doctored to make you see them as something that they’re not… and the list goes on with all the things that could go wrong with digital relationships of this age.
But then, that doesn’t mean that people don’t get their happily ever after. Because they do! There are people who fell in love thanks to the internet and they’re still going strong. If there is one thing I’ve learned so far, it is that you treat online relationships the same way you treat physical ones. Things you wouldn’t want to be done to you, don’t do it to others. And when someone does something you are uncomfortable with and they show no sign of stopping, block them at once! It’s not that hard.
For me, having a good online relationship with anyone, whether romantic, business, platonic, or anything… it’s always a system that takes two to tango. You both have to be willing to make it work. Once one person decides to be less invested than the other, it becomes tiring and that’s when it begins to die off.
One of the first foundations of a good relationship is boundaries, knowing how to set boundaries and knowing how to enforce them in a way that won’t come off as rude or entitled. This can be a tricky place. The thing is that not everyone has sense, and just because you have sense, doesn’t mean that every single person who chats you up will also have it. That’s why some people will come to your DM and be moving mad.
But do you move mad with them? No. You calmly tell them that you don’t roll that way and if they keep it up, you’ll give them a tablespoon of premium blocking. Anything at all can tick you off, and it’s best to establish the boundary when the relationship starts or the minute you start seeing things you don’t like. Because the longer you allow it to go on, the harder it will be for you to stop it.
Another foundation for a good relationship is respect. People who respect you will not go against the boundaries that you’ve set. It’s not fair when you respect people and then they in turn disrespect you. Anyone who disrespects you can leave. If they’re not people that you can block, probably due to how complicated your relationship with them is, then you can keep your interaction with them to a minimum.
The truth is… the internet has given us access to people’s private lives more than many of us deserve. That’s why some people can comfortably call others at midnight, without thinking that they may be asleep. Or why it also has them thinking that they have a right to your time and attention.
So, there will always be online relationships. This can’t be avoided. However, we just have to be careful, that’s all. Let’s be smart about it all, because remember; you only know what you’re told. The real truth would be anyone’s guess.
Be wise.
