Your neighbors are one of the most important people you’ll ever get to meet in the course of your life. Whether you want them or not, they’ll surely be there. They could be in the same compound as you, on the same street, their kids will go to the same school as your kids, and you might even worship at the same place. You can’t avoid having neighbors even if a gun is pointed at your head.
Unless of course, you choose to live in the jungle, but then your neighbors would be the natural residents of that jungle, which I can assure you would most likely be much worse. So, it doesn’t matter whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert; you need to learn how to relate to your neighbors. Because one day, they’ll surely come in handy.
They say that no man can be an island to himself; whether we like it or not, we’ll always have to rely on others. And they may not always be family and friends. Some neighbors are really the worst. Some of them really do have pride, and it has nothing to do with being on their own. There are neighbors you’d greet, and they’ll simply ignore you. They’d walk past you and pretend they didn’t see you. There are neighbors who at the slightest misunderstanding, would want to involve the police, just so that they can be left alone.
The thing is, I believe that many people confuse privacy with isolation. They simply lock themselves away from others and say that they’re being private. But you can have privacy and still be social with your neighbors. At least that’s how I see it. Because honestly, I’ve seen firsthand what having neighbors who know you and can vouch for you can do.
Back when I was in school, during a police raid, a young guy was picked up. Not for anything in particular, other than just existing in the place where the raid was happening. Many people saw it happen, and everyone knew that the only way to help the guy would be to bail him out of the police station. But then, when the cops left, everyone was expecting the guy’s lodge to take point in the case. And that was where the issue was: no one present at the time knew where he lived. He was a familiar face; everyone was sure he lived around, but no one knew where exactly.
It wasn’t until the next day that the street president was able to figure out the guy’s lodge, and they found out his name. Still, no one was willing to bail him out. Because when you bail someone out, you serve as a form of guarantor, and your name is recorded in the system. Not everyone was willing to do that for someone they didn’t know, even though they lived in the same lodge.
In the end, the lodge president had to work with the community leaders to free the boy. Not sure anymore sha, but he spent about four days to a week in lockup. Even his family wasn’t aware of his situation, I can’t remember why that was the case. Why am I telling this story? If people had known him well enough, many of the elderly in the street would have spoken up for him when he was picked up, and if that didn’t work, friends in the area would have facilitated his release. He wouldn’t have spent more than a night in detention. I’m sure of that.
So, do I have a good relationship with my neighbors? Yeah. Provided I’m not given a reason to be mean or hostile, then I won’t be. We greet each other, we smile at ourselves and have friendly banter. But I don’t go into their homes, and they don’t come into mine. Yet, if they see me on the street, they’ll recognize me and smile at me, and I’d do the same if reversed.
Are there neighbors I can trust my home with? Back in school, I had two close friends, although they were not technically neighbors, but they had spare keys to my home and could come in when I wasn’t around for any reason. In the lodge I lived in, I also had someone. He was someone I was close enough with that he could come into my home at all hours of the day. No one else had that privilege.
I was friendly with everyone, but I made sure it didn’t get out of hand. People are scared of overfamiliarity, but even adults are basically like children, we’re all wired the same. If you give them an inch, they’d try to take a mile, just to see how you react, just to test you. And your response will determine if they’ll retreat or go further. Once something happens that I don’t like, I shut it down at once. I can do it playfully, or I can do it sternly, depending on what the situation calls for.
That’s why the lodge I stayed in for the last three years of my education, I was friendly with everyone, but not once did I have any record of a see-finish kind of event. Because I just refuse to let things get to that point.
But then, everyone ends up doing what works best for them. Maybe I was just lucky enough to have my kind of neighbors, maybe it’s just the environment. Maybe it’s just me. I don’t know, though. But if indeed it’s me, then that’s pretty cool. Because I can tell you for a fact that I am the kind of neighbor I would love to have.