Omo… when I think about it, I don’t believe that physical punishment is ever the way. I experienced it growing up, and it didn’t do anything to curb my excesses. As a matter of fact, using canes and punishment doesn’t have the desired effect on children, they only develop a tolerance for it and figure ways around it.
If you’re beaten for sneaking out of the house to go play football, you learn to only play when your parents are not home. If you’re punished for stealing meat from the pot of soup, you learn to cover your tracks better so that no one would suspect you. And when the ass-whooping can’t be avoided, you learn to endure it. Back then, it was easy to fake crying. A skill I had to learn when I was in junior secondary school. Even though you could easily endure the strokes of the cane, you still pretend to cry hard just so they stop hitting you.
There’s a reason why, despite how severe punishments are, crime still happens. We’ve heard talk about how inhumane prison systems are, and yet, people still commit crimes. We know that some countries still practice death sentences, but for these very crimes, some people still do it! What does this tell you? The threat of punishment has never been enough to deter people from committing a crime. Because people will always believe that they are better than the system, and that they have a shot of getting away with whatever crime they commit.
So, what do we need? Our problem is mental. We need to be more willing to rewire our children’s brains and let them see that certain things are right. It’s better for your child not to steal your money because stealing is bad than it is for the child not to steal it because he’s terrified of you. They’re two different things. One is a lesson that will stay with him for life, and one is a threat only your presence provides. The minute you’re not there, or the second they feel that they don’t have to be scared of you anymore, then they’d go ahead and do what they want to do!
So, we need to change our mindset, people should do things because it’s right and just, not because they don’t want to go to prison. Because if they find out that they can get away with it, they would do it at once. This is why children who grew up in highly restricted homes become polar opposites the minute they’re out of their parents’ reach. You see the things they do, and you can’t even recognize them anymore.
So, instead of focusing on beating or punishing our kids, let’s try to do things the right way. We do it because it’s right and should be done, and not because we don’t want to get on the bad side of the law. It doesn’t get any clearer than that!
Just my two cents!
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