Apology is something that sits differently for a lot of people. There are many of us who find it easy to do it without any problems at all. And then, there are those who find saying sorry very hard. It can be like asking them to pull teeth.
When I think about this, I can’t help but think about human nature. We all have that inherent need always to be right, no matter the situation. We abhor being wrong because it could mean that there is something we don’t know. And as such, many of us find it hard to apologize. Saying sorry means you are admitting you did something wrong, didn’t know something, or are just giving ground for peace to reign.
These are things some people would never do. They have this obscure pride that seems to forbid them from apologizing. They just want to be right all the time and instead of saying the simple words, they will simply dance around and try to use other acts to cover up. Eventually, you will have to give up.
Personally, I am a person that has no issues with apologies. Especially when I am in the wrong and I’ve realized my mistake. If I have to apologize, I can even do it profusely. This is because I hate hurting people, and if for one reason or another I have a hand in doing it to someone, I apologize. The only time when I don’t say sorry so easily is when I am not the one in the wrong, as a matter of fact, I was the one wronged but I believe the other party was trying to play the victim with me. Once I get the idea you are trying to play me, getting me to do anything with you will be like pulling my own teeth. It will be difficult!
However, there was a time I had to apologize and move on even though what happened wasn’t my fault. It was something I did for peace to reign.
When people move into a new area, there are usually some different sets of rules that apply there that they would have to learn. Many of them can’t be learned at once, so over time as you continue to live there, everything will come to you. That was what happened to me when I first moved into the area I am currently staying.
There is a rule in my gated street, and it states that by 6 PM every day, commercial bikes are not allowed in. The only bikes that will be allowed to come in are bikes belonging to residents of my street. This was understandable, considering the need for security and safety. However, this rule was not posted anywhere. It was not written anywhere at all, the only way you will find out about it is if you were told personally by someone. Or you were caught and fined!
The latter happened to me when a bike dropped me off at my compound at about 8 PM, the guys in my street swooped down like eagles on me and the bikeman. One of them promptly took the key from the motorcycle and disappeared, while the others negotiated our fines. This was the first time I was hearing about the rule and personally, it didn’t feel right to me that such a thing was not posted to warn off people like me that didn’t know. I and the bikeman were fined.
I tried to explain to them that I was new in the street and didn’t know about the rule. One of them told me it wasn’t an excuse, that the bikeman was supposed to know. And even at that, I was supposed to see the poster out front at the gate. I was like… what poster? There was no poster there! What was this guy talking about?
This was my first real interaction with people in my area and I just didn’t want it to go off on the wrong foot. So, I killed the matter by apologizing and agreeing to pay something (I paid N500 as against the N3000 they were asking for) small to appease them. I promised them it would never happen again.
That event introduced me to many members of my street, and they got to know me as well. So I don’t really see it as a bad experience. If I had chosen to argue and prove I was right that night, I’m sure the guys in my area would have had a different image of me by now.
Who knows what it could have been?
