For many people, asking for help is not something that we do easily. It’s never a decision we come to on a whim, and when we finally get to that point, we’re intentional about it, and we make it work. But then, that doesn’t mean that we don’t ask for help when we need to, because we definitely do, we just learn to pick our moments. Well, I know that I do.
Personally, I’m all for helping, but I can also easily get tired of it if it becomes too constant or the person I’m helping becomes entitled to my help. Some people forget that it’s only a privilege, and no one gets exclusive rights to your assistance. So, once we start crossing into that territory, or when I notice that the efforts I’m putting in are not being reciprocated, I simply back off.
And since this is how I treat others, it’s also how I would like to be treated. One thing I hate and try to avoid is being a burden. No matter what, once I feel like I’m burdening you or pressuring you with my demands, I’ll back off. To me, the help you render will become tainted, and I won’t even be able to take it in good faith. Which is why asking for help is done sporadically, and only when necessary, because then the person will know that it has to be really important if you have to ask them.
Of course, there are those who make it a habit to ask for help for every single thing. They won’t even bother to check if they can handle it themselves; they just assume that it’s something they can’t handle and leave it at that. However, the thing is, if you become known to be someone who always needs help for every tiny little thing that has to be done, people will learn to treat your requests for assistance with a pinch of salt. They’ll keep pushing you to the back burner, expecting you to wait because your thing is not important. And sadly, the day you would need urgent help, they’ll do the same thing. And the cost will be dire!
Personally, I don’t think there is a special skill or science to asking for help. People just need to know that it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Asking for help doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of doing that particular thing, it just means that you have recognized an easier way to get it done. Asking for help doesn’t affect your standing or reduce your qualification in a field.
So yeah, asking for help is important. But let’s not get too comfortable with it because if we create a habit of only asking for help, we’ll fail to actually do things for ourselves. Which is way worse!!!
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