If there’s one thing I’ve come to learn about humans, it’s the fact that no matter how hard we try, we really can’t help but reveal who we are. People don’t just change overnight, there will always be signs but we might either choose to ignore them or we’ll not see them for what they are at all.
Change is a process, and it takes time. You wake up one day and realize that someone is not who he used to be. That didn’t happen during the night, it has always been happening but you just didn’t notice. You think you know people, but in the end, you learn that you do not know anything. And even worse, people don’t even know themselves!
You can tell how good a person will be as a parent based on how they treat other people’s children, or even how they treat pets. Living alone and having to cater to your needs alone is one thing, even living with a spouse is something else. The partner could also be working and earning, the partner is also an adult and can take care of themselves so you don’t need to be afoot all the time.
However, with a child, it’s different. Children can’t do jack for themselves and rely on their parents for everything. Money is not enough, because what children need are physical, emotional, financial, and even mental. So, as a parent, your work is cut out for you right from the onset.
There’s this guy in my area, he has a thing for dogs. Sometime this year, he brought this fine dog home. It looked like a cross between a local dog and some other breed. At first, he and the dog were inseparable and he was always taking it everywhere he went. However, not too long after, it seemed the novelty died. He began to ignore the dog.
The poor animal could go for days without being fed or washed, the man just didn’t care. When his neighbors asked him why he wasn’t taking care of the dog anymore, he told them to mind their business. Sadly, in this country, animals don’t have a lot of rights. And it’s hard for others to be helpful when they have not even had their first meal of the day. So most of the time, it was always up to the owner to treat the dog right.
Thankfully, a woman who owned a shop close to the man’s house began to give the dog food. The dog would go up to her and she would give him biscuits or other times she would just buy food for it. And that was how it was, as far as the man was concerned, he no longer had a dog. He continued with his life as if nothing mattered while the woman kept taking care of the canine.
Well, you’ll think he learned his lesson and stayed away from dogs, right? Hell no! Just last week, he brought home another dog! A puppy this time, and you know just how much care this would require! And understandably, his neighbors fired up. The dog he had, he wasn’t taking care of it, yet he went on to bring another? The woman in the shop was even more pissed, the way she ranted at him, you would think he stole the dogs from her. They just didn’t understand why he would get another dog when he could not take care of it. The man wasn’t even fazed by any of their complaints, he told them that nothing was going to happen. And as far as taking care of the dogs was concerned, his God was in control and would be sure to provide. And that was it.
Does any of this sound familiar? Because to me, this man reminded me of people who became parents without being financially or psychologically ready for it. It baffles me when people birth multiple children, yet there’s no stable source of income in the home, or the little that comes in can barely take care of one child. Talk more of four or five.
I know, mistakes happen sometimes. Maybe, the first pregnancy wasn’t planned. Hell, the second wasn’t planned either. But after that you’ll expect them to wise up, right? No! They’ll go on to have three more children that they can’t take care of. It seems that there’s a special prize in heaven for the number of kids you have.
Yeah, our children are our legacy and they’ll carry our names into the next generation. But our legacy is dead already if our children die of starvation because we can’t even give them the basics of life. We bring them all into abject poverty and expect God to take control.
You’ll hear stories of how parents will have their first kid and have to rely on friends and family for almost every financial step they have to take. They borrow money to buy clothes, for feeding, for trips to the hospital, and whatnot. They borrow and borrow, and borrow. And yet, one year later, with no change at all in their financial disposition, they get another baby.
These are the kind of people who choose to rely on siblings, uncles, and aunts to take care of their bills while they do nothing. They can’t control themselves, but everyone else suffers for it. The children who don’t deserve such a life, and their family who are forced to bear the pressure. And every time, when they're asked how they intend to take care of the baby, they tell you something along the lines of “God will provide.”
I’ve always hated that phrase because to my understanding, only lazy people use it. You can ask for blessings on your efforts, but lying on your bed and doing nothing, yet expecting miracles to fall in your lap is a top-tier delusion in my books. When you have a well-paying job, and you tune your life toward it so you can live within your means, you know already that God has provided. But when you keep doing things that’ll drive you further and further away from the ideal life, you make no move to better yourself and you expect everyone else to take care of your mess, that’s a messed up life to live.
If you’re old enough to make a decision, you should be old enough to bear the consequences. The world is too hard and people are suffering. It’s not your job to bring more people here to suffer. Don’t have children because you’re getting old, don’t get married because your mates are married. Don’t have kids because “a man is supposed to have children” or to show your in-laws that you’re fertile. If you’re not ready for the responsibilities that follow, you’ll cry premium tears.
This is not like before where your sister or brother could volunteer to take one or two of your kids and bring them up. Now, eye don red and everyone is only focused on taking care of theirs. So, you and you alone will have to bear the weight of your decisions whether you want to or not.
Whew… funny how one dog inspired so much. The man who got the dog, I don’t know him personally, I didn’t even know about the first dog because he doesn’t stay on my street. However, I witnessed the day his neighbors argued with him when he brought in the new dog. It was more like a quarrel because everyone could hear their voices. Which is what drew my attention to it. And that was how I heard the full story.
I don’t know what happened to the puppy later on, the next time I go that way, I’ll find out. But I’ll be clocking out for now, reminding you all that the next time you make the decision to get kids, be sure you’re ready financially and otherwise to care for them. So, you don’t come online to tell the world how your brothers and sisters have abandoned you because they refused to help you pay your children’s school fees.
No one deserves such a life, least of all, innocent kids.
