Is there a relationship in your life that's not up to par? If you're a human - which I assume you are if you're reading this, and you're alive - which I assume you are if you're reading this - then 100% yes.
In this modern age we're consistently advised to end "toxic" relationships. But are we being too flippant and consuming and discarding people as if they're commodities? What if our relationships can go deeper and be a mirror for us and our own growth?
I've been around the block in toxic relationships. I ended my relationship with my parents five years ago. My dad going into cardiac arrest in 2017 put us back in contact again, and I decided to open up the door for another way.
Ending relationships has always been the way we've done things in my family. My parents' relationships with their friends were always short lived, and twice they fell out of relationship with my grandmother. They would always find something they didn't like about people and move right along. We even did this to each other. When things get too complicated and we get too frustrated with each other we just walk away.
And I've done this same thing with many, many friendships in my own life. After ending so many relationships with friends and family I began to wonder about another way. What if I could heal and uplift and nourish these difficult relationships? What if I was powerful enough to make them into something else than they were before?
If only our relationships with humans could be as easy as our relationships with our pets, right?
Human's relationship with dog is easy. Dogs love unconditionally. They will still love you and treat you like royalty even if you beat them and treat them cruelly. Dogs radiate pure love everywhere they go. They're faithful. When we think of them we're filled with good thoughts and emotions. Dogs are the only beings we know how to love with a true, pure heart, because that's how they love us.
What if you were able to love other humans in this way?
Imagine what your world would be like for a second.
Dogs are tapped directly in to source. They see the real you. They pay no mind to your shortcomings and your worries. They know who your spirit is.
What if you saw people that way?
Can you imagine how your relationships would transform?
Can you imagine the healing you would bring to other people's lives?
When we see another as the highest version of themselves - when we see beneath a person's pain and suffering and personality defects, healing happens. Literally magic happens. That person starts acting like the higher version of themselves.
We draw from others what we see in them and what we believe about them.
If we can get past a lot of stories and beliefs built up from our past in our relationships, we have a broad, clean slate to work with in a relationship. A relationship can become new and blossom from that place.
It's not easy.
Most people are lazy about their lives and about their relationships. You keep doing what you've always done. You carry around the story, and you keep telling it.
But if you decide to be open to a new story - if you choose a new story for your relationship with a person - that relationship will start to change in accordance with your new story.
You see, you are a very powerful human. Humans are story tellers. Our lives play out in accordance with the stories we tell. It's very, very simple that you simply must keep changing your story to a better and better story of your choosing. People make a big deal out of this. It's true that you cannot be lazy in your thinking in the telling of a new story. And you will most certainly find times of slipping back into old patterns and your old story. But don't make a big deal of this. Just "ah. I'm telling the old story." And instead choose to align your thoughts with the new one.
In contrast to dogs, we complex humans have a love / hate relationship with the people in our lives. The hate comes from negative attachments and disempowerment.
We do love the people in our lives. We wish that relationships with them could work and feel better. They can.
What if you are the key factor in all your relationships? What if you have the power to uplift all your relationships to a higher level? What if there's a great satisfaction in uplifting your loved ones and your relationship to them?
You are powerful enough to be not a victim of the people in your life and your relationships, but the healer and transformer and uplifter of all of them.
In this modern age we're all toxic. We're all deeply wounded. You'll be hard pressed to find someone who has no toxicity. We are magnets. We draw from others what we are and what we believe. We draw from others the story that we tell about them. Draw what's not toxic from other people. Draw what's good and loving and eternal. Be medicine for other people. We're all in this together.
Maybe you need to take some space from your relationships. Indeed, I needed space from my relationship with my parents. I needed space away from the old story so that I could recalibrate. Often we need space from the old story in order to start building a new one. Let love be your guide. Sometimes it's just better to love from a distance. Your power is in love. And you are powerful. So very powerful.
This post was inspired from drawing from the Gaian Tarot Deck.
Related reading to improve your relationships:
How I Went From Being a Judgmental Mofo to Compassionate
5 Steps to Change Your Relationship With Somebody Like Magic
