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Click here to peruse the first part of this story: Amazingly, the confession session with Mom did not turn out to be nearly as brutal as I had anticipated. After all, in the previous fifteen minutes, I

Once upon a time, my family had a woody. (How’s that for a vague but potentially questionable opening line?) In the interests of fair disclosure and the avoidance of retroactive investigations by Child

1. I really hate walking on the treadmill. It’s not the treadmill’s fault. He’s really nice. It’s the concept of exercise overall. Back in the day, when I didn’t have to exercise, but actually had an abundance

1. Wow, those kids look like they’re about 6 years old. 2. Hermione was pretty bitchy back in the day. 3. Daniel Radcliffe/Harry has exactly two facial expressions: “total surprise at being famous for

1. Some like it hot. These folks reach in, turn the hot-water tap to ultra-gusher, completely ignore the cold-water tap, and then leave the settings like this for the entire three-hour tour. Now, I generally

A review of Hitchcock's 1969 film, "Topaz"... We start out with some old black-and-white footage of a military parade in Moscow’s Red Square. We know that Hitchcock didn’t shoot this segment,

1. Getting the lawn mower out of the shed Once upon a time, we thought it would be really cute to convert the garage into another den, because we had too much furniture in the rest of the house. (I have

Another snippet from my work-in-progress novel, “Cruise Control”. All you really need to know: It’s the butt crack of dawn, and a massive caravan of my family members is headed to Galveston to embark on

A long time ago and far away (okay, it was eight years ago and in a neighboring town), I ran a blog series that seemed like a great idea at the time. The following ludicrous artifact is the first installment

Evelyn: “What on earth are you doing in my apartment? And why are you holding my diaphragm case?” Inspector: “Is that what this is? I thought maybe you were collecting those little Jewish hats. But since

Brian was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma on a cold January day in 1965. Clearly, the odds were already against him. But he persevered, slugging through this and that, and he quickly learned at a very young age

Note: This is an excerpt from another book-in-progress, one concerning a family cruise in the Caribbean. All you really need to know is that Tiffany is my best friend, Terry is my partner, and things can

1. Frigi-Daze The concept of opening the refrigerator and staring forlornly at the contents, unable to make a decision about what it is that you want to shove into your mouth. You know you want something,

2000 B.C. - 999 A.D.: The Native Americans live peaceably for thousands of years. Sure, a few of the tribes were a bit violent, but this pales in comparison to the religious persecutions that were all