WARNING: This post deals with doubt and depression. Pull out if that's an issue for you. If you immerse yourself and become uncomfortable, seek those who create a safe space for you and grant yourself the grace you deserve.🤗
Happy Tuesday, listeners. Today I want to celebrate one of life's disabling emotions: Doubt. Not just marginal doubt, like wondering if I've turned on the right street or picked the ice cream flavor that my mind really wants. Those situations don't debilitate most people. If I make a wrong turn, I can reroute to get back on track. And if my ice cream selection didn't hit home, well, there's no shame in having a scoop of something else, right? I mean, that's something that needs both correction and affirmation!
No, I'm talking about moments of hesitancy where I'm not sure I can recover. Where I feel like I've invested so much time and effort into something. A dream. A desire. A career. A person. Those moments when I fear that have or will throw it all away if my next single action will put a match to all I've hoped and dreamed about.
What if I'm not ready?
Some doubts deeply root themselves, and seem to never escape. They can come from a person we looked up to earlier in our lives who made us feel like we would never be enough. Dismissed us as incapable. Or from people we held so dear that we can't seem to put the past behind us and move on. We fail to grant ourselves the grace to recognize that we are enough. Did enough to put the ghosts to rest and move on, if only we could believe it.
Sometimes, doubt is sown by powers in the world that want to dismantle your beliefs. There's a lot of that going on in my world. They try to put you on edge by creating sufficient doubt in the foundational things you trust and lean into, then con you into false "truths" to draw you in. This is vastly different from respectful discussion of debate, for in those scenarios, you part with perspective, but also with the camaraderie of combatants who maintain respect for each other's existence. New doubts may linger, but if the path forward can be founded in growth, not dismemberment, then it can lead to simply being a better, broader, more aware, human. There's no fear in that, especially when we have those who know an reassure us that we are still okay.
The time when we simply need to get out of our own way.
All of these are potential moments of growth that come with the fear of not knowing whether the risk is worth the reward. It's moments when leaning into those who truly care about you, without judgment or bias. Who will tell you what they think, because the underlying trust in each other knows that there's no judgment here, only grace and growth to find our best selves.
