"Bliss...Bliss, wake up...wake up", the voice called as it faded almost immediately.

For some months now I have been in a very complicated state, depressed for most part, other times just floating in an unknown space trying to stay sane. There were times I felt like shit! felt stuck and it was just suffocating...I was tired, and just needed something. A change. I needed and wanted to experience something new...different...refreshing. But the question is what and how?

At a point I thought I needed to be in a relationship. I mean who doesn't want to feel and be in love? To be with someone who inspires, support, love and cares for you. Someone you can call home...your comfort place. I joined a few dating app and met some really interesting/crazy people, which mostly ended almost immediately as I started chatting with them. For the most part, I enjoyed the initial stage of getting to know different people on the sites, but at the end of the day I concluded that there are more crazy people in this world than normal ones. It was fun for a bit though...but certainly not what I was was looking for.

Nothing changed. Instead I grew more impatient, at this point I had lost all motivation, working at my job became a thing of force...it wasn't a job I enjoyed to begin with, while writing my blogs just became difficult. Honestly, it wasn't easy going through each day feeling sad, unsure and demotivated but like they say, "when there is life there is hope".

Now for the good part, I am about to begin this new journey, something new, refreshing and also promising. Although, it is taking a lot of resources to pull through but it is something worth looking forward to for me...and will most likely usher in the change I seek...and other goodies "who knows"? Now I am feeling much more motivated, happy, in a better frame of mind and more importantly...hopeful for the new experience about to begin.

Today, I am looking back to those times I felt sad and unsure about what step to take next and I am grateful. Now I am back to being more myself, trying to get things done and get back to writing my blogs and catching up on what I have missed on here.

Thanks to my love and special person @wwwiebe for always being there at every turn...you know I love you. @saffisara thanks boo for always checking up on me...I miss you too, let's catch up. @jamerussell I am here now lol...thanks Papi.

Life is filled with ups and downs, it is not avoidable as it would come. Things may not always go as planned, other times it may be delayed. You see people moving forward and it feels like you are just a lazy person and you are not even trying at all. You try to convince yourself that you are not moved or affected by their progress but it hurts...not because you are not happy for them but you just wish you were doing great yourself. You smile outwardly but your heart bleeds, no one but you knows where the shoe hurts.

Life isn't going to get easier sadly, so you need to keep pushing and grinding. Take a break when those down times come but be ready to stand again, like the popular saying goes "When there is life, there is hope".