In the quiet dark room was Leila, who has just been invited by her course mate to a birthday party by the weekend. "She shouldn't have invited me", Leila said with a sigh. "How am I going to blend or fit in? She knows so well that I am not the party type...or is she trying to mock me?", Leila thought to herself.
Leila has always been the type to stay on her own, she fears messing up in public so she just prefers to do things on her own. She was just another lady with fears and doubts in her heart. "Would I fit in? Would they like me? What if I cause a scene unintentionally? What if....what if?". The thoughts of "what if", has always been haunting her so she would rather stay on her own than make a fool out of herself.
She wants to party, do things girls her age would but each time she is about to let loose, the voice comes to whisper in her ears...."You are not going to fit in, you know you don't belong there...then the questions of what if's begins". Hearing this she sinks back into her shell convincing herself that those things are not really important.
Sometimes you feel less of yourselves thinking you are not enough. You resign to the voice of negativity in your head that says you cannot fit in or that you would mess up if you make an attempt...so you don't bother making any. Negativity is like a parasite that feeds off your emotions, you let it grow that's why it hold over you gets strong with time if nothing is done.
There was a time I would put myself down before anyone would, we used to joke about it back then in the university that "you cannot shame the shameless". But over time it had a negative effect because you fear that someone would tell you something negative, so before they do you just say it to yourself that way it is less hurtful. But is that truly an effective method?
Finding a way to shut that negativity is the most effective way. First you need to admit that you are experiencing such a thing, try to observe your mood or what sparks up the negative thoughts. It could be anxiety, insecurities, past failures or rejection and many others.
You can also counter these negative thoughts with a positive one... recreate the scenario and think about the positive aspect of it. Another thing is, as humans negative thoughts are bound to pop up depending on what we are going through at the moment but your ability to change the script to a positive one is entirely up to you. Yes, it may not be easy but with practice and meditation you can definitely do this.
Most of the time, the problems in life may not be as tough as it seems, it is how we see those problems or issues that matters more...either you see it in a negative way or you choose to positive about it. It may be difficult sometimes to see things in a positive manner especially when there is big hurdle before you but it is not impossible.
Click on images for the source, images used are from pixabay...except otherwise specified. 💮
"I am 
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