Here I am sitting at my desk with the computer staring blankly at me while looking at the clouds begging for an opportunity to rain. (I really hate the idea of being in the office or out when it rains haha, I like being in the comfort of my home cuddled up in bed with my "Tom Tom..."teddy bear".... hot tea while watching some episodes from a Korean drama..always feel so nice). 😊
Back to what I was saying before day dreaming, so there was actually a time I wished I had a job...I mean have my own desk, computer, you know colleagues, team dinner or retreat whatever. There was that time.....but now, I just feel tired, frustrated, bored....I mean I could feel the days pass by unfulfilled. "Is this really what you want? Are you happy?", these are questions that have been most prevalent for months now. "What do I do? What can I do? What should I do?", these are questions I literally have no answers to....yet.
"The torment of human frustration, whatever its immediate cause, is the knowledge that the self is in prison, its vital force and ”mangled mind” leaking away in lonely, wasteful self-conflict.” – Elizabeth Drew
This coupled with the fact that I have been struggling to write for a while now. Initially, I thought I had it under control...I came back posted for a little while then off the radar I went again. No excuses really, I just couldn't pen down anything even my movie reviews....it got worse by every passing day. It sucked to want to do it but having no idea where to start....feels like writing for the first time.
Another sad and heart breaking thing is watching and hearing so many horrible things going on in Ukraine these past weeks. You see millions of people fleeing from their homes, their lives stolen from them, all they have struggled to build over the years destroyed in seconds....and you just begin to wonder how cruel and cold the heart of a man can be. Parents have been made childless, wife...Widows, husbands ....widowers, children...orphans because of the desperation of a man. I have a friend there who has been traumatised by this event, it a took quite a lot but I am glad she is out of danger and has found shelter with a nice family.
Life itself is hard enough, adding war to the list is unspeakable and I really do hope it ends. My heart goes out to Ukrainians....and I hope the world can be safe for them again. ❤
Click on images for the source, images used are from Pixabay...except otherwise specified. 💮
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