It's scary, it really is.
I often used to come across people from a different culture and feel their incapability and dwindling interest in commitment was irrational. Culture clash at it's purest form, it was. It seemed as a foreign concept, a very trivial one. I believed I'd understand the standpoint against commitment when I grew older, but I was wrong. The only way I'd ever understand it is if it'd happen to me.
Seeking validity was another in the list. I believed in working hard and doing your best. I thought I'd understand this concept, that I had mistaken for a weak personality, when I'd grow up. I was wrong, I'd only understand it when I'd face it in person.
We often label certain traits and behaviors as toxic and negative. Just like the fear of commitment or seeking validation. However, I've grown to look at them and many similar traits of the sort as a double edged sword. They surely can be toxic and negative and devastatimg, but at the same time can become the foundation to a strong and much mature characters.
One thing is for certain, nothing is too do with age. Think of it as maturity, it has nothing to do with age. It's the experiences, self-reflection, self-development and control of the mind that brings the two ends together. It's how you choose these traits to shape you.
On one end you let them overcome you and set ablaze everything on your way, burn bridges, create chaos and disregard all that is good and lovely... and on the other you overcome them and blossom like a Peacelilly after the storm.
I guess I'd never have my own perspective on it. I guess all that happens always happens for reason. It just hurts to see when someone passes on the best of their lives for a shiny moment leasing to devastation. Passing on the love of their life for a moment of lust. Passing on greatness for a moment of good. Passing on growth for a moment of ego.
Here's one to all those who grew from knowing what it feels to have the papercut healed. And here's to me stepping into the scary realm, may I walk out a glowing gem.