Why I stopped blogging about autism: I did enjoy it when I first started. Over time, I started to burn out. This is why I don't like basing my socials, YouTube, and blog on only one aspect of content.
It wasn't just the burnout and feeling like no one was noticing me, but the later ableism in the autism groups I was in.
I originally started blogging about autism in 2017 or 2018. I bought hosting before COVID got bad. I'd say in March of 2020. I wanted to eventually make money on my blog (AdSense, affiliate links), which you can't do with a WordPress.com blog. I started blogging about autism to showcase how I struggled when I was undiagnosed. I also felt my mom was understanding when I was a kid, but she became less understanding as I grew up. After I turned 18. I blogged mainly about how autistic people may struggle to gain or keep employment due to how Neurotypical people may read our traits.
I was tired of my mom dismissing my feelings and calling me a child for it. I felt like she was doing so. I was sick and tired of the expectations I couldn’t meet, and her getting mad that I could not meet them. I started blogging about autism when I tried a job program that I thought would help me get a job, and when I made a video on my old Aaliyah Holt channel entitled “Why I hate being autistic,” the video did fairly well.
There is a series of events that led me to step down a bit. I thought I’d go over them a bit.
The expectation to know everything being problematic also pushed me away from the community.
I shared a meme in an autism group indicating how autism doesn't have a look. One guy took offense to it, calling it inspiration porn. I had no clue what that was at the time. Not one person actually reached out to me to rule out a possible misunderstanding. You cannot expect me to keep up with everyone and everything. I am assuming the people were not too fond of the person who wrote the meme. I was annoyed with the autistic community’s expectations that everyone knows every single thing is problematic. Maybe the guy made a statement before expressing his annoyance towards those types of posts, and I most likely did not see it on my feed. You can’t be angry when neurotypical people misunderstand you on purpose, and the people in the group assumed I knew what inspiration porn was and assumed I knew the creator of the meme was problematic, if that’s the case.
This community will dogpill you for something you didn't know existed.
Some commenters had animosity towards the original poster of the "inspirational porn" post. Whatever controversy the page was in, I did not see it. Had someone actually bothered to inform me, I would have explained that I followed the page and shared the meme at the time; I did not know about inspo porn and ableism, etc. I told them multiple times I didn’t know what inspiration porn was. The minute the guy said it was inspirational porn, when I said “there is no porn here,” it should’ve given it away that I genuinely had no idea what the guy was talking about. They ignored that so they could dogpile me. When the guy said something about inspirational porn, and my response was, "what porn? There is no porn. I would never post that and risk the group getting banned by Facebook."
Should've been a dead giveaway that I didn't know that was a thing, and take a guess I didn't realize the meme came off that way. Maybe "inspirational PORN" isn't a good name because I thought the guy mistook it for inappropriate porn. When I said autistic brains think literally, I wasn't kidding. I left the group when I realized the group members would rather attack me than explain what inspirational porn was and how the post I shared fit that category, and give advice on trustworthy autism pages to follow.
Before I changed the URL to "gamingwithjazz" it used to be "theloneaspie."
I shared a blog post with a group, and someone left a comment saying it's gross that my name had aspie in it. Didn't even care to explain what's so bad about the word. Most, if not all, people who were diagnosed in the early 2010s more than likely use Asperger’s or aspie. What was so hard about telling me the term is outdated? Nothing. But assuming I did it on purpose from the get-go was easier for that person, I guess. Also, a few autism bloggers I followed had Aspie in their name. I assumed they were an asshole and blocked them. Without a clear explanation, they sounded like one. It sounded like they were doing to me what they hate neurotypical people do to them.
I felt that I had no place in a community that assumes your every move is ill-intentioned, but won't inform you of outdated terms and such. That expects you to keep up with everything and be aware of every single outdated and updated term. It's tiring, honestly. The mob mentality the toxic autistic community had was exhausting.
These groups worked overtime assuming ill intent. Little did they know, I was diagnosed in 2010, and not everyone is aware of outdated terms.
I also felt discouraged that I was not being seen. I would post an autism blog and no one noticed, but when I posted a gaming-related post, it got a few likes or a retweet. I also started burning out. I thought this town wasn’t big enough for all autism bloggers, oddly. So, after the New Year, the decision was made to rebrand to talk about gaming, being a content creator, and so on.
I just wish people understood it’s impossible to keep up with everything and everyone. Topics die down after a while. Especially with fandoms, you simply weren’t into the TV show/movie/game, etc., at the time, and said person was part of that content, which was controversial. Even so, people make mistakes and say things they didn’t know were offensive, but cancel culture vultures can’t seem to comprehend that.
I wish people would actually communicate with you instead of assuming you knew a meme or joke was offensive. Not everyone is chronically online
I got fed up with the impossible expectations. I couldn’t figure out how people did it. If no one in that group cared to inform me of the meme I posted or the page that shared the content. And just assumed I knew and did it to harm people, how do you advocate for any disability or serious issues? There are things you still may not know, and people expect you to know everything and keep up with every updated and outdated term is beyond exhausting.
My old account was hacked, so I'm recreating my old posts while waiting for longplay content. It takes longer to make than shorter Let's Play parts. I lost interest in shorter parts and would rather do long-plays and get the game over with quicker
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