I’m not a hater of love. I really want to hold the hands of someone and fall in love with the person but the dating pool is just a mess. Some only want to date you because of what they benefit from you and that is not supposed to be so.
After my experiences with relationships, I have chosen to stay away from love for now. Even at that, I still make sure that I check posts, read stories and watch movies pertaining to love but the majority of them are all fake. Finding real love is hard but when you have one, hold them tightly.
I woke up in a very sad mood today. I didn’t have a good sleep last night because my neighbors had an argument which almost led to a huge fightbut we who were present there were able to manage the situation so it does not get escalated.
I woke up this morning and wanted to feel good so I started by playing music. The motive for playing the songs was to feel good but it eventually made me change a rule or vow that I have made.
I started my day with Lana Del Rey. I didn’t mean to remember my ex boyfriend but the song made me remember the good days when I will rest on the chest of my man and sleep off.
It was so relaxing. I didn’t mean to remember such scene but I can’t lie about the fact that it js a beautiful scenery. I missed that and missed his touches.
I moved to Chris Brown’s “Don’t judge me”. It’s so funny how all of these songs create the beautiful memories which I have said I do not want to have anymore. This made me remember when I used to have a crush on a guy.
I loved him so much that I was ready to do anything and everything for him. Well, we didn’t eventually date but the memories is actually making me smile. Can I actually smile about love memories? I’m shocked.
I ended it all here. The lyrics were so touching that I just need a man who can take blames if truly he did something wrong. I don’t want someone who will still want me to apologize for something he did wrong. That’s the way my past relationships have always been and I do not want that anymore.
So what? I made another resolution. I have changed my vow. I want to fall in love again. I want to fall in love with someone who appreciates and love me. I mean, someone who will make me feel good around him and even the days when I’m not around him.
Love is beautiful but that’s if it is done with the right person. Right now, I think I envy everyone who is in love. I want to become one of them and if I ever see the opportunity to love again, I’ll never decline.
