Image is mine
In my early years, my mother had a slogan which stated, "A family that eats together stays together." It's a belief from my part of the world that eating together in one big dish fosters unity and peaceful coexistence. Back then, it was very common to see couples eat together on one plate.
Sometimes, when the man is working late, the wife would preserve the food and wait for her husband's arrival before she could have dinner, just so they could eat together. It was sort of like a ritual, especially in new marriages. In my home, my daddy keeps quite late, so my mommy would always eat with us either on a tray or in a bowl, depending on the consistency of the dish that we were having.
By the time my daddy arrived, it would be my mommy heating up his food and keeping him company while he ate. Sometimes, they will be so loud in their laughter and chit-chat that it will thunder into the night, waking us from our slumber. And while our sleep gets snatched, it is us sitting by our parents, occasionally rubbing our eyes and yawning as we listen to their conversations. Oftentimes, my dad would share his piece of protein with us; that's when the night gets interesting as we all munch in delight building lasting memories.
Again, there were nights my daddy came back with street food in the likes of fried yam and roasted beef, AKA Suya... This delicacy is usually wrapped in a newspaper, and once my dad gets done freshening up, my mom would get a tray and open it up; we would all sit around it on the mat and eat to our heart's content. Those were the good old days which formed my childhood memories and also greatly shaped my adult life.
As I grew older, there were certain situations I saw people go through, and I can't help but wonder if that would have been my siblings and me if we had had a different childhood experience. It also became a thing of concern as I envisaged what would have become of us if there were no happy memories to hold on to in times of conflict.
Sometimes, I'd get so offended by a sibling that I'd resolve to cut them off, but then the memories of those dinners, the laughter and happy moments that we shared growing up. The thought that we once ate together and my mother's slogan. Not only that but the fact that I saw my parents live in harmony, never quarreled and put in so much effort to ensure a peaceful coexistence in our home often softened my resolve.
At all times, after letting go of the grudges, I found myself approaching that sibling to talk about my feelings and how offended I was by their actions. If ever I get overwhelmed with the existing conflict, I reach out to my parents to express my feelings, and they immediately summon all of us, not just the parties in conflict and every time that they counsel us, they never fail to take us down memory lane of how we grew.
By the time we were concluding the meeting, the conflicted parties must have buried the hatchet. It wasn't just me going down that lane for conflict resolution. My siblings also adopt it when they have disagreements amongst themselves or with me.
To some people, it might just be a meal, but to my siblings and I, they were fun memories of peaceful coexistence, which strengthened our bond in our adult years. Again, it established in us that we are not only greatly loved but we also come from a home built on love. You'd be amazed at how mentally fulfilling it is to eat and share a meal as a family. In my opinion, there is no stronger way to build connections and lasting bonds.
