Wish me luck!

I just bought GTA V today, and I'm trying to prepare myself for the imminent ass kicking I will get when I first go online.  Anyone have some useful tips I should know going in?

Below, how I would like to die first.  Wouldn't that be glorious?

Source 1:http://wallpaperfolder.com/wallpapers/grand+theft+auto+5+logo

Source 2: http://wittyrat.com/clips/gta-5-fails/