Disclaimer: This post may contain highly sensitive words that may trigger anxiety or depression. Please read at your own risk.
JUMP
I smile with a cut,
Hope for blood to come out,
My brain contemplating my balance,
As I try to fall off this cliff.
With my feet dangling for existence,
In a story wrapped inside a book,
A happy ending would be slitting my throat.
And yet I'm here,
With the wind blowing on my face,
Thousands of feet off the ground,
With no sight of the human race.
"Jump"
My mind devoid of empathy told me,
My heart says otherwise.
Jump!
My heart thumping loud,
As the wind angrily howled through the mountains.
I reached into the nothingness beyond me.
I tried to cry,
Hoping for tears to come out,
Any sign that i'm still human,
Any sign that would tell me I'm still attached to my body.
That there's still some humanity left in my useless state,
That this is not, after all, my fate.
But no, all I got was this strong sense of anger.
I clenched my teeth as I hold my breath,
This would be the moment when tears would fall,
But I had nothing,
I already lost it all.
I let out a shout that echoed through the mountains,
Hoping It would reach a soul to find me dying.
This would be my end,
I let go of every fear,
Every pain,
Every hate I have that's left,
And all the love I should have kept.
I thought of the days when I was happy,
I'm sure there were a few,
I thought of the days I lived for something,
And it was you.
I thought of the days I was alone,
And I smile.
Telling myself that for most of my life I was happy,
Would just be the saddest lie.
So this would be it.
I sigh,
I look down into the nothingness below.
I close my eyes,
No more drama,
No more hurt,
No more hate,
No more fears.
No more breathing.
I am free.
