Welcome to the dumped boyfriend club! I’m sure it’s NOT a membership you’re happy to broadcast. However, getting over the fact that your girlfriend has unceremoniously dumped you can be a real problem when it comes to a guy’s ego!
What the heck are you supposed to do? How do you handle the pain and shock of getting rejected by someone you really like, or even love?
When a relationship comes to an end, especially when you didn’t want it to, most people, both men and women alike, have mixed emotions. They can feel hurt, be angry, and can even harbor resentment toward their ex. The feelings of being dumped by a lover can all be rolled up into one gigantic ball of pain, bewilderment and confusion!
But, hold on a minute, men aren’t supposed to feel like this, or even worse, show their true feelings. Aren’t guys supposed to be in control of a situations like this? It’s a “macho thing” after all, isn’t it?
Can a Dumped Boyfriend Show His True Feelings?
First off, bottling up your emotions is the wrong way to deal with being rejected. There’s nothing wrong with hurting when someone you love has dumped you. I’m not saying you should lose it and cry uncontrollably in front of your buddies, but they should be able to support you while you’re going through this tough period. And, if not, perhaps it’s time to find some new friends!
In life, it’s important to know the difference between what’s an acceptable reaction, as well as what’s not acceptable, when things just don’t go your way in relationships and other social situations.
When trying to work through a breakup with your girlfriend, a.k.a. being dumped, there are many things you should not do. If you persist in acting inappropriately, you’ll only keep the hurt feelings on the surface much longer, and your thoughtless behavior can adversely affect other people too.
What a Dumped Boyfriend Shouldn’t Do
Don’t go out with other women, well, at least not straight away! Sure enough, this can help you get over your dented male pride to some extent. Yet, while it may take away some of the pain you feel, what about the woman your now dating? She doesn’t really deserve to be treated like a substitute for your now ex girlfriend. After all, she wasn’t responsible for your break up.
No, it’s in your best interest to resist the urge to date, or sleep with other women, until you can do it for the right reasons. Finding someone to date, or “use up”, shouldn’t be seen as a way to build up your ego, ease your pain, or perhaps get revenge on your ex-girlfriend. Would your ex really care anyway? Remember, SHE dumped YOU!
Another thing you need to steer away from is the dumb “male posturing” scenario of going out and drinking to excess. What does it really accomplish, other than leave you with an enormous hangover the next day? In many ways, this type of response to being rejected by someone, actually points to a lack of self-respect.
By all means, if you want to go out with your friends and have fun, just to get your mind off of the breakup, then go for it! But, if you want to go out simply to cause trouble, or to act in a juvenile fashion, you need to seriously think about what this would achieve. Do you want to make a total fool of yourself in public?
You’d be surprised how quickly irresponsible behavior like this can get back to your ex girlfriend! Do you really want to give your ex the satisfaction of confirming her decision to leave you was the right thing to do?
No, just because you’re a discarded, rejected or dumped boyfriend, or however you want to put it, that doesn’t mean you have the right to behave like a jerk!
How To Get Over Being Rejected
Move forward with your life. Start doing things you enjoy or make you a better person. It can help you take your mind off your ex, calm your anger, and ease the resentment you feel, if you concentrate on doing stuff that’s worthwhile and constructive.
Avoiding the typical, and unnecessary “male” response after a breakup is what you should be aiming to achieve. Dwelling on what might have been, you know, the “what if’s” and “if only’s“, and reacting negatively to the whole break-up with your girl, won’t benefit you in any way, shape or form.
And, if you’re totally honest with yourself, you might admit that there were things you probably could have done much better. Were you attentive enough? Did you show your girlfriend respect? Did you do those little romantic things? By working on strengthening the areas that let you down, it will greatly increase the odds of your next relationship working out better than this one did.
So, if you belong to the dumped boyfriend club, take stock in who you are, and make the necessary improvements to your character, or your romantic side, while you’re healing from the broken relationship. Then, if you do it properly, you’ll never have to subscribe to that membership again!