" I'm done being soft" she said " if only I can be a little tough, grow a thick skin". These were the words that my friend uttered while complaining about the issues in her love life. While she spoke, the only words In my head were, love is supposed to encourage softness not harden you. One of my favourite quotes is "be so soft, that nothing can break you", but how exactly do you do that in a world that's constantly reminding you to grow a hard shell.
It's no wonder, relationships of the now, is filled with so much hide and seek games, each partner hiding behind carefully erected walls to avoid what we Nigerians know as "see finish". They bury the true emotions of their heart so as to avoid being perceived as the weaker vessel and I ask, if I cannot trust the person I'm with, with my purest and truest form of emotion and vice versa then what's the point of a relationship. And surprisingly, these games doesn't lead them no where, as sooner or later they still end up broken hearted. What's the point then, bury your feelings and get bodied by unexpressed emotions, show them and risk the ruination that comes with betrayal, can you hear superman shouting "you won't let me live, you won't let me die" in this moment.
My thoughts on this though, is love as hard and as much as you can, you can never truly predict a person's actions, so someone who's going to love you will do so irrespective of wether you show it all or not. The width and depth of your love is never a sign of weakness but that of strength. Personally, I am an all or nothing kind of lover and this approach has been a superhero of some sort to my heart, seeing as it has stopped me from settling for relationships that was going to be half fulfilling and saved my pillow from seeking a pillow therapist, cause truly, our pillows needs somebody to unburden all the trauma we put them through during those nights when we nursed our broken hearts.
Maybe, the bare it all kind of love in a time against vulnerabilities, may not necessarily be the sane approach but like my lecturer in school said "sanity is a relative word ", who's to define what's sane and normal to you, but yourself. I hope you find the courage when you finally find love ,to love without borders and restrictions.
