Getting closer to my mom’s birthday! Just realized that… 5 more days. I have no idea what to gift her. A breakthrough in the case to recover Lily would definitely make her happy, but I doubt that would be delivered on a Sunday. Besides that, all I could do is order her some delights at our favorite vegan online store. She does like her chocolates…
Being far away doesn’t make the gift selection easier. I would love to organize something for her, but is a lot of effort from here. Maybe I can ask my brother to get her a fancy plant or something, since the garden she takes care of now is a lot bigger. Oh, right, some berries would be fun. We had a lot of berries at our old house, that she moved out of. Still is moving out, but has to be ready, soon – the new tenants move in by the first of June.
I have no idea what those berries are called in English, so let’s look it up. Red Currant, Black Currant, gooseberry and jostaberry, which is a hybrid of black currant and gooseberry. According to translation tool. There’s a huge and beautiful apple tree, too, that produces the absolute best apples – but it’s around 50 years old, so a little too much to be re-planted. And it’s an original seed, so I’m not sure if one could get the same variety again. Maybe with some neat techniques that I read about, to make the twigs sprout. Not something I could organize from here, either. But the berries? I can pull that off.
I hope she doesn’t read this blog. I know she goes through the main blog from time to time. If she does – hey mom, sorry for spoiling the surprise! Hope you’ll like the berries! If not, let me know in time so I can find something else. Though I really thing they’d do great on the south-facing earth wall (mound?).
Next birthday will be mine, in exactly one month. Then Lily, in exactly two months and one day. Then Ellie, in 3 months minus two days. Then my father, in exactly 4 months (yes, I was born on the day 9 months after his birthday… I guess I know what his present was…). My brother in November, Kami in February. That’s about all of the most important once. There’s my in-laws, I got all theirs written in my calendar but can’t remember them. Most important is my mother in law, as she likes to be celebrated and gifted. So I indulge her.
I’m not much of a birthday person.
I enjoy it since Lily enjoys it. She loves to do something for my birthday. Partially, because Father’s Day and my birthday are very close here in Ecuador, so I generally was able to convince her mom to let Lily stay with me for the month of June, or at least two weeks. And since Lily’s mom always got stressed and mad and very unpleasant to me around Lily’s birthday, I decided to celebrate her birthday with mine, surrounded by our common friends. Which was always a blast. Really easy, though: Bouncing house and buffet that everyone contributes to. Many families came, and it was always so incredibly beautiful.
It's not about the gift, but knowing the other.
The other part that Lily likes is giving gifts. I have SO many of them. But for birthdays, she generally puts more into them. Which I taught her. It’s important to me that she knows how to give a good gift, to spend time thinking about the other person, what would make them happy, what they need, what they enjoy. And then the creative part, coming up with ideas. Like the berries for my mom – something from her old home for her new home. Or like Lily did for a friend of hers. She found an old picture of the two of them being babies, being held by their fathers, a good friend of mine and me. Something very personal.
Consideration.
That’s the value behind it. Taking the time and doing and effort to consider the other as they are, their essence, knowing them. In my opinion, that’s what is meant with “the intention matters”. And generally, a well thought and felt out gift hits right where it should be. It shows attentiveness, and I don’t know many people that don’t enjoy (positive) attention.
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