I know you do. I felt that reading your post about TCM. On good days, I can keep going, smile and wave, be productive, feel good. But trigger come. And the reasons to resist them become fewer and fewer. Or maybe they just feel less important.

I know that Lily is fine, mostly. It's a bad situation, but she's as resilient as a kid can be. While my worry about her is somewhat justified, I know that the main reason is myself in this case. I'm hurting. For good reason. But at least I know where it comes from, what it does, why it weighs on me so much.

Which throws me back to the decision making - indulge, numb my mind, or face it head first, and most likely come out of it stronger and better?

And then again - why? What's the point? I can do that later, when Lily is back or an end is in sight. Why not numb it down?

Spiraling...

Sending you SO many hugs back. I mean, given the timelines here, I could probably fly over to Australia, give you that hug, and fly back before anything happens. Okay, nothing would happen anyway as long as I'm not here constantly nagging, so...