Lily send a picture and a cute voice message to mom, showing off her "Robo-Teddy". Which was great, because my mom worries a lot about Lily, the whole situation, with her being basically abducted by her mom to a different country and the authorities not doing anything at all. Every message is a relief. Something beautiful for mom.
And that can't be!
You don't deserve not even half of the love and innocence of my daughter. It's really a shame, you're disgusting as a family. And I hope to be doing it right so that she will be a better person.
That's what Lily's mom wrote a few minutes after. She and my mom had their clashes, but also got along well for a while, good enough for Lily's mom to ask mine to talk to me about certain things that she thought bad for Yaku (nothing factual, but psicosis works differently). And mom, despite the wild accusations, wrote back calmly that she'd talk to me. Which she did.
Nice while useful.
And then a vicious attack like that. What to tell my mom about that? It caught her off guard. She knew that Lily's mom was like that, but mostly through me. And while I'm used to it and can see it within the scope of mental illness, not letting anything she says get to me, my mom has to fin ver footing around that, still.
Who is she to judge us?
That's the first thing I told mom. We know who we are. We know how we are as a family, how we support and love each other, how we try to do good by the world the same way as we do to us. Everyone that tries to judge us does so from their experience. We can view that perspective, take it into account, analyze it and see if there's something worth thinking about. Because that's the mindset we have. Always self-critical, always trying to improve.
That's why Lily loves us so much.
She always felt that. The unconditional love. The support. The artificial boundaries, set to raise her right, keep her save, and at the same time knowing that when push comes to shove, there aren't any limits for us to keep her well.
Maybe that's why.
Facing that love being reciprocating, her attempts of alienating Lily from us being unsuccessful, her own hate not being responded to neither by us not by Lily, maybe that's what makes her so furious.
Speculations.
It doesn't really matter. We stay on our course, the right one, according to our principles and values. Letting someone affect us that has no comprehension of the latter would be like being offended by someone with Tourette syndrome ushering insults.
Focus on the message, not the words.
Schulz von Thun Style. What is behind the words? If she feels the need to attack, she's probably not doing well. If she's attacking our family, she might have troubles with her own. And, always - it's better that she unloads her frustration on us than on Lily. Because we can take it, we know how to process it.
Be the example.
Always. Even in absence. Be the human beings we want Lily to see in us. The best example possible.
Be coherent, for she will be back, and there will be much to talk about, much to explain.
What are your thoughts about this topic? Please feel free to engage in any original way, including dropping links to your posts on similar topics. I'm happy to read (and curate) any quality content that is not created by LLM/AI, as well as read your own experience and point of view, I love to learn!
Pictures taken with a Motorola Edge 60 Pro, I reserve the copyright - but feel free to ask if you want to use one of the pictures!