I fell

I remember the early days; my emergence. It was timid at first, tentative, but as I unfolded so did the world around me.

Everything felt new and wondrous. I felt the caress of cool breezes, the wetness of dew as it settled upon me, the way it would pick up the early morning rays of light and refract it a million different ways and into beautiful hues. I loved the way butterflies would land, opening and closing their wings seemingly just for the sheer enjoyment of it, and birds taking to flight from branches, the scrape of clawed feet on bark giving way to the whoosh of feathered wings rushing through the crisp morning air as they winged away. It was all so beautiful to me.

I revelled in the view I had of the world, the way the valley stretched out before all the way to the horizon and I loved being healthy. I was only a small part of a this wondrous and vibrant world, but I was content; a living and breathing element within the greater environment.

As I grew so did the world around me. Life moved along in its ever-changing way and time passed.

I changed with it, grew and developed, and played my part, small though it was, within the vastness of life around me. I basked in the warming rays of spring, moved in time with the breezes and bared myself to spring showers that fell cool upon my nakedness, cleansing and refreshing. Day gave way to night, clear skies to clouds and small things grew; life continued and I went with it.

I wilted a little under the summer heat, welcomed the shade those around me provided and languished, almost lazily, in those hot days. As the day cooled I'd enjoy birdsong, watch little creatures going about their daily tasks in preparation for the night, and then I'd bathe in the golden light of the sunset, it's rays seeming to penetrate right through me and bare my soul, and I'd watch the sky turn from blue to purple, orange and red as the sun slipped over the horizon.

They were good days. I felt truly alive and part of something so much bigger than I was myself - I felt connected and valued.

As the days began to cool I felt a change, not just around me, but within me. I began to change.

Hues of vibrant green were giving way to yellow, gold and red and the activity of the little things around me became more urgent. Squirrels scampered about more determinedly, birds flew with more purpose, south they flew, always south. The days became noticeably shorter and the sunlight less warm. The world seemed to be receding and I felt its pull.

I felt its first effects at my extremities. I felt tighter, less supple and I began to curl. It felt odd, it felt like the passing of time. It felt like a journey was ending.

I looked about and found fewer around me than before. I saw less green, almost none. The morning dew was colder and seemed less refreshing, the light seemed dimmer and the world muted. I looked below me and saw a blanket of yellow, gold, red and brown...that's where everyone went.

I realised I was was dying and I thought about my life, the glorious moments of beauty I'd held close to me, the memories of sunrises and sunsets, of sights and sounds, of feeling connected...and then I fell.

(A free-write about being a leaf, with an image I took personally.)

Becca 💗