It has to be a Tuesday, Thursday, or a Friday night. I know this because those were the days in the week that I see him. We walk from our friend's house, an 8-minute walk, but in the cold feels like an eternity.
I put my Marc Jacobs leather jacket in the closet.
I look at him and motion for him to walk up the stairs.
He refuses.
“Lady’s first.”
I put my foot on the first step and turn around.
“No you go up first.”
“Lady’s first.”
“No, you walk up first…”
Why am I fighting with him?
“I’m not walking up until you do,” I say thinking he would give in.
I tap my nails on the wall.
“Well then we are going to be here for a while.”
Tap.Tap. Tap.
“That’s going to get annoying soon,” he says.
Tap.Tap. Tap.
“Then go upstairs.”
“No.”
Tap.Tap. Tap.
He’s so stubborn.
Tap.Tap. Tap.
*I’m so stubborn. *
I slide down the wall and sit at the bottom of the stairs.
He does the same.
He starts to play with my ripped stockings.
“ I still can’t believe they do what we do,” he says and looks at me.
“ People have sex all the time.”
“But it’s different. This is different.”
*He sounded different. *
“Yeah, how?” I was probing wanting to see if he would say what I wanted to hear.
“They’re not us.”
My legs start to fidget.
This is your time to say something. I stay silent.
He continues to play with the rips in my stockings.
“ So you're going to walk up the stairs,” I ask.
“Nope. There’s a futon right there.” He starts to walk to the futon, I follow him and we sit. We look around the room, then at each other.
“I’m really stubborn,” I inform him.
“Me too.”
“I’m not going to give in.”
“Me neither.”
Time passes. I want to give in and walk up the stairs, but I can’t let him win. Play the game.
Time passes.
“How about we walk up together,” he suggests.
We hold each other and walk one stair at a time.