I remember when I was a child and talked about what I wanted to be when I grew up, my dreams. In fact, some possibilities came to my mind and gained my affection.
Still, they were all too far from my heart and too abstract to move my steps. I did not know if I really wanted one of those things. And for some reason, I lacked the will It needs to run after a dream.
What could it move me? I did not know, and this lack brought me a lot of worry and insecurity during the course of my life. I wanted to be happy, and this was my only certainly. The only goal from my heart. The only wish to the shooting stars. But in practical terms, what does this mean? What did I have to do, what did I need to want to be happy?
I thought the answer was in small pleasures that I could easily satisfy. It filled the fault inside me easily and instantly. Still, in the spaces that intersperse this quickly moments of pleasure, emptiness.
My last impulse was to drop everything and give myself to the unknown. Giving up what was safe and doing something without collateral. Delivered and open to whatever could happen to me.
Traveling i discovered a courage that I had no idea was inside me. Overcoming the barrier of fear, i begin to realize that everything that happen depend solely of me, of my mind. I learned and grew a lot. I fell in love and had my heart broken.
Suddenly, that will no longer moved me. The unknown turned into just different scenarios where I moved, carrying with me the same lack.
I had nowhere else to seek my will. And so, without any will, I was guided to this place. A spiritual community was all I knew about it. A place called Source Temple Sanctuary.
From then on, my journey began.
