Job interviews are a bit like dates. The only difference is you don’t go full blown peacock on it, but tone it down. You hide that cleavage, take off the red nail polish and go with skin tones, no ripped jeans or superheroes t-shirts. Out with the flaky, nerdy, hobo and trashy. And yes, I can understand that that pair of lucky shorts, the pink tiara and the red cape might help with the confidence. But no, you want to drag out your inner capable, presentable, professional and practical woman aura … even though you feel scared as shit and have no idea what you are doing.
Just like on a date you want to impress the person across you. You bring out your personal credentials but don’t want to sound like you are bragging. You smile but don’t overdo it. You want to be polite but not too meek. To me it feels like walking the rope. And the line is thin. I swear she looked me right in the core with those eyes and after she told me she worked in a prison before … I figured no point in bullshiting her. If I excel at something it is reading people. I laid my cards on the table. She laid hers.
The interview lasted for over an hour. Which was something new to me. I don’t even know if I would hire myself, but I guess she saw something she liked. Or the competition simply wasn’t competent enough. She wants a conformation until Tuesday that I am sure I would like to work there and after that … we will see.
So I guess I might be changing my job in May. Do not ask me how I feel about it. I’m not even sure. I don’t handle change well and it takes some time for me to take something as my own. I also didn’t work in my profession for the last 7 years, which adds up to the fear.
Changing relationships works the same way. Here they are used to my antics, tiaras, superpowers and capes. They know me. There I will be new and lost. I know that with time that will change. My reason works just fine. My mental age copes. But I figured that with age you sort of grow up. I guess like a monkey I learned new tricks, but sometimes I feel that my emotional age stayed right there … somewhere in the teens. Half of the time I feel like I have to play I’m 34, but I sure as hell don’t feel like it.
This was done as a commission. 
